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News Thump
Man who claims to hate Sharia Law pretty keen on bringing it into the British legal system
Yesterday at 9:54 am
Company insisting you can no longer ‘work from home’ also expects you to respond to work emails after you’ve ‘gone home’
January 24, 2025 at 12:54 pm
1970s comedy writers apologise for not accurately predicting which jokes would be acceptable in the mid 2020s
January 24, 2025 at 12:25 pm
Elon Musk confirms Donald Trump as his Vice-President
January 20, 2025 at 9:07 pm
Trump inauguration descends into chaos as Bible bursts into flames
January 20, 2025 at 1:43 pm
North Face launches new range of gravy-proof clothing for the ‘indoorsy type’
January 20, 2025 at 1:13 pm
First of ten plagues to be unleashed during Trump inauguration
January 20, 2025 at 12:43 pm
Nigel Farage to hum selection of wartime tunes at Donald Trump inauguration
January 20, 2025 at 10:42 am
Kid Rock to drop inaccurate words ‘Kid’ and ‘Rock’ from name
January 19, 2025 at 9:52 pm
Musk fans celebrate genius behind SpaceX successfully sending Starship 7 to explore the Caribbean ocean floor
January 17, 2025 at 1:25 pm
Erling Haaland signs new 115-year contract
January 17, 2025 at 11:11 am
Oh no! My cat is the reincarnation of Genghis Khan
January 17, 2025 at 10:43 am
Neil Gaiman launches right-wing conspiracy theory podcast
January 16, 2025 at 11:41 am
‘Please don’t take us to your leader’ Martians beg US astronauts
January 24, 2025 at 11:24 am
We should rebalance the economy back to manufacturing and making stuff, insists man who’d never dream of working in a factory
January 23, 2025 at 3:09 pm
Elon Musk forced to sleep on sofa after lover’s tiff over Stargate
January 23, 2025 at 11:38 am
Lee Anderson to replace Gary Lineker on Match of the Day
January 16, 2025 at 10:42 am
Nigel Farage’s guide to earning seven-figures as an MP and using private planes but not being part of the Establishment elite
January 15, 2025 at 3:14 pm
Why Every Business Owner Who’s Tired of Saying ‘Cash Only’ Needs a Portable Card Machine
January 15, 2025 at 3:14 pm
Donald Trump has haemorrhoids, confirms Mark Zuckerberg
January 15, 2025 at 2:12 pm
Tyson Fury announces retirement from boxing until a better offer comes in
January 15, 2025 at 1:56 pm
Man who claims to love free speech really can’t handle it when people use theirs to disagree with him
January 14, 2025 at 1:55 pm
‘Just divorced!’ banner added to SNP camper van
January 14, 2025 at 12:09 pm
Greenland excited by opportunity to join a country that extorts its states for political gain after natural disasters
January 14, 2025 at 9:40 am
‘You are really shit at cooking’ insists smoke alarm
January 13, 2025 at 3:24 pm
Daily Mail reader discovers hospital is ‘full of immigrants’ because they work there
January 13, 2025 at 2:11 pm
Middle-aged man’s attempt at a fist bump ends in minor injury
January 22, 2025 at 1:56 pm
Being born in the USA no longer enough for citizenship, Bruce Springsteen told
January 22, 2025 at 10:09 am
Trump signs Executive Order to review the ‘woke’ Ten Commandments
January 22, 2025 at 8:55 am
Kim Kardashian generously pours Moët over wildfires after using up everyone’s water
January 13, 2025 at 12:55 pm
‘Wait, are we supposed to be celibate?’ ask Catholic priests
January 13, 2025 at 10:28 am
Two million Lynx Africa spotted on the loose in UK
January 10, 2025 at 1:24 pm
Premier League teams only ever lose because of us, admit referee governing body
January 10, 2025 at 11:54 am
New study finds humans domesticated Belgians as early as 10,000 years ago
January 10, 2025 at 11:42 am
Mark Zuckerberg legally changes name to ‘Elon’
January 10, 2025 at 10:55 am
Buying countries is cheating, insists Hitler
January 10, 2025 at 10:41 am
Stagnant economy, tumbling pound and rising borrowing costs were in our other manifesto, insist Labour
January 9, 2025 at 3:47 pm
Woman who crashed the economy really not happy when people point out she crashed the economy
January 9, 2025 at 1:13 pm
School PTA raises over £50,000 by promising no events in 2025
January 9, 2025 at 12:55 pm
“We were justified in throwing bricks at police because we guessed right about the Southport attacker,” insist morons
January 21, 2025 at 2:26 pm
Mark Zuckerberg reveals new ‘glow-up’ at Donald Trump’s inauguration
January 21, 2025 at 11:57 am
Elon Musk debuts new Charlie Chaplin moustache
January 21, 2025 at 9:08 am
Mark Zuckerberg to end fact-checking on Facebook by giving all users $1000 to write Community Notes
January 8, 2025 at 2:55 pm
UK set for more floods as Sports Direct mug knocked over
January 8, 2025 at 2:10 pm
“I will only buy Liverpool if everyone agrees to call me the club’s founder,” insists Elon Musk
January 8, 2025 at 1:12 pm
USA must control Greenland, Canada, and Central America, insists Trump after night playing RISK
January 8, 2025 at 11:57 am
