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The Daily Mash
Dad ruining stag do
Yesterday at 4:52 pm
We ask you: are you prepared to fight and die for the one pence piece?
Yesterday at 4:52 pm
Disrupt our trains, see if we notice, jeers Britain
Yesterday at 3:11 pm
‘We would like to kill the show that you watch’ says right-wing media
July 22, 2024 at 5:12 pm
Vice-president to become president or what’s the f**king point
July 22, 2024 at 11:15 am
Man feigning surprise at twists in show he binged after girlfriend went to bed
July 22, 2024 at 10:13 am
Gen Zer exhausted after day of visualising work
July 22, 2024 at 9:14 am
Biden made decision after communing with the dead
July 22, 2024 at 8:14 am
Friends suspect woman not drinking at wedding is hungover
July 19, 2024 at 4:53 pm
We ask you: why are Trump supporters pretending they have head injuries?
July 19, 2024 at 4:44 pm
30 degree temperatures hitting homeworkers’ productivity
July 19, 2024 at 2:12 pm
Bill Gates dies turning Windows back on
July 19, 2024 at 12:15 pm
Why young people must not be allowed to ‘go sober’. By a middle-aged person
July 19, 2024 at 10:10 am
Olympic Village rife with regimented, goal-based sex
Yesterday at 12:12 pm
Pointlessness of Brexit exposed by tethered bottle cap
Yesterday at 10:41 am
The correct etiquette when some bastard is sitting in your reserved train seat
Yesterday at 9:14 am
Entire world broken by shit update
July 19, 2024 at 9:12 am
This is the most rewarding part of the job, say teachers
July 19, 2024 at 8:13 am
Daily Mail readers turn their hatred to biscuits
July 18, 2024 at 2:11 pm
Buddhism with a bit of tarot: Your girlfriend’s infuriatingly half-arsed spirituality
July 18, 2024 at 12:12 pm
Horrified man discovers going to bed early makes him less tired following day
July 18, 2024 at 11:15 am
Six other musicians who owe us all a nice big break from music
July 18, 2024 at 10:16 am
Bullshit called on heatwave
July 18, 2024 at 9:31 am
Avanti, CrossCountry, TransPennine: Which rail operator will you cheer to the grave?
July 18, 2024 at 8:14 am
Stormzy back on the market, mum told
July 17, 2024 at 3:12 pm
We ask you: what crazy antics will Gareth Southgate get up to now?
July 17, 2024 at 12:15 pm
Ignorant, spiteful Paris Olympics opening ceremony to gloss over how great Britain is
Yesterday at 8:13 am
Middle-aged Tinder user deliriously swiping right on younger women
July 25, 2024 at 2:15 pm
Granny, their ex’s name, Hitler: 17 tattoos you don’t want to see on a one-night stand
July 25, 2024 at 11:12 am
Public excited to discover what they voted for
July 17, 2024 at 10:56 am
Strictly, and other light entertainment TV formats hiding sinister bastards
July 17, 2024 at 10:18 am
School devises bullshit rationale for Alton Towers trip
July 17, 2024 at 9:01 am
Six people who no f**king way will be England manager and four poor sods who might have to be
July 17, 2024 at 8:11 am
Everyone queueing up to live in a cave on the moon
July 16, 2024 at 2:14 pm
Drug anecdotes to be criminalised
July 16, 2024 at 12:10 pm
Teenager discovers random, arbitrary punishment from universe is actually a job
July 16, 2024 at 10:56 am
2024: how does it compare to the shite British summers of the past?
July 16, 2024 at 10:11 am
Magic: The Gathering vs Warhammer vs LARPers: Which nerds are bullying which?
July 16, 2024 at 9:02 am
‘Arm Trump’: spectacularly wrong lessons Americans will learn from the shooting
July 16, 2024 at 8:13 am
Same old twats enter Tory leadership race
July 25, 2024 at 10:15 am
How to pretend your relationship is working now you’re trapped in the Algarve for a week
July 25, 2024 at 9:15 am
Woman unsure if she’s having a brat summer or is a chaotic mess
July 25, 2024 at 8:01 am
Member for Clacton f**ks off to America
July 15, 2024 at 2:10 pm
Man’s sudden enthusiasm for cunnilingus nothing to do with losing erection
July 15, 2024 at 12:11 pm
You choose, says girlfriend who’s already decided
July 15, 2024 at 10:55 am
Shame, our winner’s montage was an absolute banger, says BBC
July 15, 2024 at 10:12 am
Woke Secret Service, woke assassin, woke gun and woke bullets, say Republicans
July 15, 2024 at 9:25 am
Man in stock photo holding ball and looking sad
July 15, 2024 at 8:40 am
Football not coming home because it’s dead, child told
July 15, 2024 at 8:10 am
Everyone injured, announces Southgate
July 14, 2024 at 4:59 pm
Oh shit, this National Trust volunteer is in period costume
July 12, 2024 at 5:25 pm
We ask you: what patriotic costume will you don to roar our boys to victory?
July 12, 2024 at 5:25 pm
New Corbyn & Chums party has more seats than Reform
July 24, 2024 at 4:14 pm
We ask you: which bizarre fringe Olympic event are you looking forward to?
July 24, 2024 at 12:15 pm
The only six ice-cream choices available to a child in the 1970s
July 24, 2024 at 10:59 am
Southgate asked to stay until he f**ks up and is fired
July 12, 2024 at 4:16 pm
England have mountain to climb in poor piece of scheduling
July 12, 2024 at 12:13 pm
Democrats issue open call for presidential assassins
July 12, 2024 at 10:31 am
Couple’s date night is staying in, getting pissed and shagging
July 12, 2024 at 9:10 am
Starmer: I will put a flare up my arse for final
July 12, 2024 at 8:11 am
Give us a day off Starmer, you prick
July 11, 2024 at 3:40 pm
Not having crippling debts for decades: The new signifiers of being working-class
July 11, 2024 at 11:13 am
£120 train ticket better get sodding checked
July 11, 2024 at 10:16 am
Madame President of the United Kingdom and Sovereign Territories attends England game
July 11, 2024 at 9:42 am
Suella Braverman enjoying ‘fascist girl summer’ in America
July 11, 2024 at 9:12 am
You’d think I would have shut the f**k up, wouldn’t you? By Russell Brand
July 24, 2024 at 10:15 am
Eighth Labour MP suspended for not using coaster
July 24, 2024 at 9:12 am
Carefree, beautiful woman riding bicycle, dress fluttering in the breeze, committing multiple traffic infractions
July 24, 2024 at 8:10 am
VAR: a reassessment
July 11, 2024 at 7:59 am
Hopes rising England might play like they’ve met each other
July 10, 2024 at 4:15 pm
England fan pops round to Netherlands fanzone to score eighth
July 10, 2024 at 3:12 pm
We ask you: what are you already furious with the new government for not fixing?
July 10, 2024 at 12:13 pm
Six ways your bastard co-workers steal your precious lunch break
July 10, 2024 at 10:56 am
Ten-year-old England fan already knocking back pre-game Ribena
July 10, 2024 at 10:11 am
How to live in a house: a guide for millennials, by a posh girl
July 10, 2024 at 9:12 am
An entirely speculative fact-free guide to which celebrities are definitely on Ozempic
July 10, 2024 at 8:13 am
Djokovic correctly identifies that nobody likes him
July 9, 2024 at 2:15 pm
Receptionist shocked to discover she is famous on the Daily Mail sidebar
July 9, 2024 at 12:11 pm
Strictly: was the ‘strict’ bit something of a clue?
July 23, 2024 at 3:15 pm
BBC stars forced to reveal what they do with the money
July 23, 2024 at 12:13 pm
How to keep the spark alive during six weeks of wanking, by a teenager
July 23, 2024 at 11:00 am
Seven traits of your ex’s new partner only you can see are manipulative and evil
July 9, 2024 at 10:15 am
Homeworkers to work from windswept beaches in pissing rain
July 9, 2024 at 9:12 am
Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, Gracie Abrams: the new crop of pop stars you’ve never heard of
July 9, 2024 at 8:10 am
Lay down your arms, Carol Vorderman
July 8, 2024 at 3:41 pm
Did AI just spill your pint?
July 8, 2024 at 12:12 pm
I will be taking eight fag breaks a day, says Starmer
July 8, 2024 at 10:57 am
France to remain complete f**king mess with amazing wine and trains
July 8, 2024 at 10:17 am
‘If you faxed it wrong you didn’t get paid’: horror stories of the 1990s office
July 8, 2024 at 9:13 am
Fans worried England might be quite good
July 8, 2024 at 8:14 am
How to hide on Tinder that you used to be a Tory MP
July 5, 2024 at 5:25 pm
Kamala Harris: who is she, and does it even matter?
July 23, 2024 at 10:15 am
Family simply too middle-class to enjoy holiday
July 23, 2024 at 9:00 am
Pool lifeguard has gut feeling today is the day he’ll have to do something
July 23, 2024 at 8:16 am
We ask you: will our new prime minister’s rousing rhetoric inspire England to a 4-0 victory?
July 5, 2024 at 5:12 pm
Red Wall work of half-arsed cowboy builder
July 5, 2024 at 3:12 pm
Jonathan Gullis returning to earlier career as a monkey
July 5, 2024 at 12:42 pm
Truss, Shapps, Mordaunt: which loss did you climax to?
July 5, 2024 at 11:27 am
Everyone at work hiding good mood from boss
July 5, 2024 at 10:29 am
Big beasts replaced by big twat
July 5, 2024 at 9:43 am
