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News Biscuit
Starmer's Charge of the Light-Weight Brigade
Yesterday at 12:13 pm
Man who could “swear for England” fails to make the squad
Yesterday at 8:09 am
The auditor takes action
Yesterday at 7:25 am
Danny Dyer to join Starmer’s US negotiating team
Yesterday at 3:09 pm
Chicken on a bike pure poultry in motion
Yesterday at 12:13 pm
Incompetent abseiler hits rock bottom
Yesterday at 12:13 pm
Baker sacked for putting her hair in a bun
Yesterday at 12:13 pm
Project: Evil - the ultimate guide to project managing the end of the world
Yesterday at 10:11 am
Calling all patriots
Yesterday at 7:25 am
Trump claims he should have won all the Oscars
March 4, 2025 at 3:09 pm
Long jumper breaks world record with 3 metre sleeves
March 4, 2025 at 12:00 pm
Trump and Vance win all the awards at 'The Gits
March 3, 2025 at 12:11 pm
Starmer reveals President Zelensky insisted, Big hug but No tongues
March 3, 2025 at 12:11 pm
Trump now “a glowing orange eye” on top of Trump Tower
Yesterday at 7:09 am
Cinema to trial “playing off” long, self-indulgent films
March 4, 2025 at 3:09 pm
Weather Presenters to stop being so jolly about the death of the planet.
March 4, 2025 at 12:29 pm
Origami disaster - events still unfolding
March 3, 2025 at 12:11 pm
Unstable stone on wall isn't coping
March 2, 2025 at 11:52 am
US Govt has a tantrump
March 2, 2025 at 10:12 am
JD Vance proves himself as Trump's number two
March 2, 2025 at 10:12 am
Musk spotted in gents' outfitters looking at nice Herringbone 2 piece suit
March 2, 2025 at 9:55 am
FIFA strongly condemns Leeds' sacking of Bielsa
March 2, 2025 at 8:08 am
BBC welcomes exciting new bureaucrat to replace boring old bureaucrat
March 1, 2025 at 2:08 pm
Future White House summits to be chaired by Jerry Springer
March 1, 2025 at 1:23 pm
Betamax, Friends Reunited tell Skype to walk towards the light
March 1, 2025 at 10:39 am
'Zelenskyy spilled my pint' claims Putin
March 1, 2025 at 9:53 am
Trump to replace gold in Fort Knox with Bitcoin
March 4, 2025 at 12:00 pm
Trump and Vance still can't agree who was ruder
March 4, 2025 at 10:59 am
Vitali Klitschko to accompany Zelensky on next visit to the White House
March 4, 2025 at 7:23 am
Don v Volod: Spot the Dictator
March 1, 2025 at 9:38 am
Part time assassin has time to kill
March 1, 2025 at 9:38 am
New version of children's song goes viral: 'The wheels on the bus are falling off...'
March 1, 2025 at 9:24 am
Horoscopes for March by Tinkerballs
March 1, 2025 at 8:58 am
Don't miss out!
March 1, 2025 at 8:58 am
Isle of Wight Tiddlywinks Club bans Russian athletes
March 1, 2025 at 7:58 am
Tristan Tate's book: How to be the 'ultimate beta male'
March 1, 2025 at 7:39 am
Trump diplomacy
March 1, 2025 at 7:23 am
That special relationship
March 1, 2025 at 7:23 am
Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month February 2025
February 28, 2025 at 8:55 pm
Grifter in trouble
March 4, 2025 at 7:23 am
Starmer increases defence spending to resurrect Clive Dunn
March 3, 2025 at 3:10 pm
Keir Starmer last seen in Trump's anus
March 3, 2025 at 12:11 pm
Samantha Fox scuppers US-UK trade deal
February 28, 2025 at 3:11 pm
Dr Who regeneration plot line part of the NHS’ long term plan.
February 28, 2025 at 12:24 pm
What is a dictatorship?
February 28, 2025 at 10:09 am
Philatelist returns to his old stamping ground
February 28, 2025 at 9:26 am
Tonight on The Donald Trump Show my guest is……
February 28, 2025 at 9:09 am
Peppa’s Mummy Pig to have baby, Daddy Pig to have vasectomy
February 28, 2025 at 9:09 am
Picts to be re-introduced into Scotland in latest rewilding project
February 28, 2025 at 9:09 am
Musk spawns the new alpha boss meme
February 28, 2025 at 7:23 am
Roll up to see the amazing freak show! A man with two faces!
February 28, 2025 at 7:23 am
Trump takes credit for planetary alignment
February 28, 2025 at 7:07 am
Best of Newsbiscuit - March 2024
March 3, 2025 at 10:40 am
Caption Competition: Friday 7th March
March 3, 2025 at 10:10 am
Fall in Covid-Cases Sees Welcome Return of Buy-a-Book-to-Match-Whatever-Fancy-Dress-Still-Fits-Day
March 3, 2025 at 8:10 am
Sinkhole repair cost to come from levelling-up funds
February 27, 2025 at 7:26 pm
Trump's version of 'speak softly'
February 27, 2025 at 2:11 pm
Sir Jim Ratcliffe sells off Man United goalposts and replaces them with jumpers
February 27, 2025 at 11:56 am
US of Eh? America added to its own Axis of Evil
February 27, 2025 at 10:12 am
Confused primary school teacher 'all at sixes and sevens'
February 27, 2025 at 9:25 am
Starmer rehearses conversation with Trump by talking to a hand
February 27, 2025 at 9:25 am
Johnson abandons sanctions in favour of 'Williamson Doomsday Solution'
February 27, 2025 at 8:08 am
Is Trump ready for Starmer's visit?
February 27, 2025 at 7:25 am
Trump sleeps like a baby every night
February 27, 2025 at 7:25 am
Everybody has forgotten the England manager's name
February 27, 2025 at 7:08 am
At the Oscars ...
March 3, 2025 at 7:25 am
Meanwhile, at the JD Vance School of Etiquette ...
March 3, 2025 at 7:13 am
Inverness Airport Lighting Upgrade Just New Torch
March 3, 2025 at 7:13 am
Trump says Europeans can join Ukraine peace talks - and serve the coffee
February 26, 2025 at 2:13 pm
Public demand silent Drake album
February 26, 2025 at 10:12 am
New White House glory hole fitted for Starmer's arrival
February 26, 2025 at 9:58 am
Faint praise for outright winner of passing out competition
February 26, 2025 at 9:58 am
UK cuts aid to Ukraine to afford more aid for Ukraine
February 26, 2025 at 9:58 am
Earth to be Recycled and other stories
February 26, 2025 at 8:38 am
Ukraine's internet connections still outperforming TalkTalk Broadband
February 26, 2025 at 8:08 am
Chinese ground penetrating radar suggests there were beaches on Mars
February 26, 2025 at 7:23 am
A fop gets detained at Colombian customs
February 26, 2025 at 7:23 am
Mandela effect renamed Truss effect
February 26, 2025 at 7:10 am
Outlook better still be down on Monday fume office workers
March 2, 2025 at 2:10 pm
Senior Management Roles in US Government – jobs suddenly available
March 2, 2025 at 10:41 am
Archaeologist unearths Republican spine
March 2, 2025 at 8:08 am
Motorcycle tourists amend their description of Iran
February 25, 2025 at 2:14 pm
NHS corridors are just long wards - with vending machines.
February 25, 2025 at 12:24 pm
Americans ‘proud’ of their craven submission to workplace bullies
February 25, 2025 at 10:08 am
Silent Jamiroquai album outsells all previous albums put together
February 25, 2025 at 9:39 am
New low as Trump claims Ukraine caused Covid
February 25, 2025 at 9:24 am
Man arrested for stalking AI generated virtual pop singer
February 25, 2025 at 9:24 am
A difficult hand to play...
February 25, 2025 at 7:25 am
Hubris
February 25, 2025 at 7:25 am
New Bond villain to be parody of Elon Musk
February 25, 2025 at 7:10 am
Heaven takes Flack
February 24, 2025 at 7:12 pm
Donnie Fiasco calls in a favour
March 2, 2025 at 7:24 am
Putin enjoys that footage
March 2, 2025 at 7:24 am
Calls for American XL Bully to be put down after savaging a house guest
March 1, 2025 at 11:39 am
Elon Musk's accomplishments
February 24, 2025 at 2:11 pm
Opponents of Trump form 'Axis of Sanity'
February 24, 2025 at 11:57 am
What was Ukraine wearing just before the war?
February 24, 2025 at 10:11 am
Caption Competition: Friday 28th February
February 24, 2025 at 10:11 am
Local man hailed for driving a taxi
February 24, 2025 at 9:09 am
JD Vance questions Elon Musk's recently discovered Florida Birth Certificate
February 24, 2025 at 9:09 am