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News Biscuit
Prince of Wales may have to be "scuttled" after breakdown
Today at 11:12 am
Tory party divided about whether Tory party is split
Today at 9:54 am
British summer: time to move the TV into the conservatory
Today at 6:23 am
Give a monkey some graph paper and a box of crayons
Today at 6:23 am
World cup competition hotting up
Yesterday at 8:38 am
Flesh merchant sues BBC for calling him flesh merchant
Yesterday at 8:38 am
Donald Trump maintains role of America's Supreme Loser
Yesterday at 8:38 am
Man planning marathon dressed as baby completes dummy run
June 6, 2026 at 5:52 pm
New British £500 note to feature a monkey
June 6, 2026 at 3:38 pm
Today at 11:30 AM - Radio 4 broadcasts a report from France - 'From Our Rhône Correspondent'
June 6, 2026 at 12:07 pm
Andy Burnham will be Running in the Derby today, as a warm up for Makerfield
June 6, 2026 at 12:07 pm
Andrew rented royal cottages on Heir bnb
June 5, 2026 at 6:08 pm
Escaped creature in Fukushima 'smarter than the av-er-age bear!'
June 5, 2026 at 11:54 am
Fears grow over Trump's mental stability following latest extraordinary claim
Today at 6:08 am
Social media users agree never to believe anything posted ever again
Yesterday at 11:08 am
Queen asks Paddington to form new government
Yesterday at 9:53 am
Reform back Tories idea , trips to tax havens tax deductable
June 5, 2026 at 10:54 am
Horses urged to 'stand up and be mounted'
June 5, 2026 at 8:08 am
Lilibet is 5, or 6,788 in social media posts
June 4, 2026 at 2:11 pm
Six phrases just as annoying as 'Platty Joobs'
June 4, 2026 at 9:23 am
Scientists monitoring DNA in wastewater detect strong signs of bull in S E Water
June 4, 2026 at 8:23 am
Hot dog stand closed until furter notice
June 4, 2026 at 8:07 am
Shortage of supplies for landscape gardeners leads to turf war
June 4, 2026 at 8:07 am
Donald Trump as James Bond
June 4, 2026 at 6:22 am
Rejected designs for British bank notes
June 4, 2026 at 6:22 am
Trump hails the World Cup
June 4, 2026 at 6:07 am
Ed Davey announces stand-up show at Palladium
Yesterday at 7:08 am
Hey, JD! Shut your stoopid racist mouth!
Yesterday at 6:22 am
A quintessentially English summer
Yesterday at 6:22 am
Police to save time by beating themselves up
June 3, 2026 at 6:23 pm
Scientists invent semiidiotics to explain Trump's dumbness
June 3, 2026 at 2:09 pm
Interpol searching for Nigel Farage
June 3, 2026 at 10:09 am
Dorries demands Mumsnet gets privatised
June 3, 2026 at 9:22 am
Farage confirms he's happy to exploit a man's murder
June 3, 2026 at 8:54 am
Starmer denies messages autodel...
June 3, 2026 at 8:54 am
El Niño will wish he'd never been born
June 3, 2026 at 6:21 am
... now on ITV: Take the Mick with Michael Smiles
June 3, 2026 at 6:21 am
English Tourist Board calls for 'more interesting' murders
June 3, 2026 at 6:07 am
Uncle Tom Cobley Confirms that he will NOT be standing in Makerfield
June 2, 2026 at 2:25 pm
Caption Competition 12th June 2026
June 6, 2026 at 3:38 pm
Israel signs latest one-sided ceasefire with Lebanon
June 6, 2026 at 11:08 am
Racially Diverse Friend Group Files Restraining Order Against College Photographer
June 6, 2026 at 9:37 am
A level Mathematics paper leaked on line
June 2, 2026 at 2:09 pm
Government to open 1100 new hospital wards
June 2, 2026 at 10:10 am
Government to announce plan to help SUV drivers park their cars
June 2, 2026 at 9:25 am
Abba holograms pull out of Trump's Freedom 250 events
June 2, 2026 at 8:22 am
Recovering stroke victim says he is all right now
June 2, 2026 at 8:08 am
'Single patient record' a good idea, but what about all the other patients?
June 2, 2026 at 8:08 am
Cabinet prepares for release of more Mandelson documents
June 2, 2026 at 6:22 am
Archaeologists' reconstruction of art found in 'Venn Diagram Cave' in Wales
June 2, 2026 at 6:22 am
Rochdale Man Tells Of His Heartbreak Over Reform Rejection
June 2, 2026 at 6:07 am
BBC human interest story attracts the interest of a human
June 1, 2026 at 6:10 pm
Blair condemns Starmer for not pointing out John Connor to the nice, melty policeman
June 6, 2026 at 7:06 am
How did the sh!t, formerly known as Prince, get that bruise?
June 6, 2026 at 6:21 am
The importance of a bookcase in Zoom call interviews
June 6, 2026 at 6:21 am
Royal Family to be turned into Data Centres
June 1, 2026 at 2:11 pm
Horoscopes for June, by a Wise Guy
June 1, 2026 at 10:23 am
Arne Slotted
June 1, 2026 at 10:23 am
Sentenced for a crime she didn't commit. If you have a problem, maybe you can hire A-Sturgeon
June 1, 2026 at 10:10 am
Microbiologist denies naming parasite species after ex-wife
June 1, 2026 at 9:22 am
UK's contribution to AUKUS underwater drones project
June 1, 2026 at 6:21 am
Bent Slebs voting
June 1, 2026 at 6:21 am
Airline boss tells UK holidaymakers to arrive for flight home before flight out has left
June 1, 2026 at 6:06 am
Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month May 2026
May 31, 2026 at 8:20 pm
Jimmy Krankie never questioned being given £400k of sweets and comics
May 31, 2026 at 4:52 pm
Peter Murrell to be represented by his lawnmower
June 5, 2026 at 2:08 pm
Hampshire Police hold 'spot the victim' finger painting classes
June 5, 2026 at 10:13 am
Charles saves planet by turning down corgi sauna 1.5 °C
June 5, 2026 at 9:27 am
Peter Murrell struggling to decide on his luxury item for Desert Island Discs
May 31, 2026 at 4:36 pm
Brexit's 20 % drop in food prices. Any minute now. Really
May 31, 2026 at 10:51 am
NEETs to be allocated a pothole to fix
May 31, 2026 at 10:51 am
Russian advance hindered by faulty Sat Nav
May 31, 2026 at 8:52 am
Pharmacists to perform minor operations
May 31, 2026 at 8:06 am
No movement for Trump after 2 hours in the 'Situation Room'
May 31, 2026 at 6:22 am
Trump's physician is Barbarella. Did I read that right?
May 31, 2026 at 6:22 am
'Art of the Deal' ghost writer asked to negotiate with Iran
May 31, 2026 at 6:05 am
Trump says crap deal with Iran is brilliant
May 30, 2026 at 10:22 am
Sturgeon assumed luxury motorhome was part of Amazon Prime free trial
May 30, 2026 at 10:22 am
Trump responds to House rebuke over Iran War
June 5, 2026 at 6:22 am
Nastyahoo declares yet another ceasefire with Lebanon
June 5, 2026 at 6:22 am
Mojtaba Khamenei - Starmer's biggest fan
June 5, 2026 at 6:08 am
Johnson to change deadly sins system to five
May 30, 2026 at 8:50 am
Carlisle Castle to be put inside giant goldfish bowl
May 30, 2026 at 8:06 am
The surest way of getting nothing for something
May 30, 2026 at 6:21 am
US Congress: $250 note, Trump? Nah. You can have this!
May 30, 2026 at 6:21 am
The many lives of Sonny Rollins
May 30, 2026 at 6:06 am
US-Iran peace talks stall over division of spoils
May 29, 2026 at 12:07 pm
University offers new course: Understanding Student loans
May 29, 2026 at 10:08 am
Water companies complacent as consumers say 'No pressure'
May 29, 2026 at 10:08 am
NEETs will only join workforce when it pays more than dealing, say experts
May 29, 2026 at 10:08 am
Good vet gets plate of lamb cutlets back on its feet
May 29, 2026 at 8:52 am
Teachers’ Union issues stern warning over 'Brainmaxxing' trend
June 4, 2026 at 2:11 pm
I am sensing that you are both Pisces
June 4, 2026 at 10:38 am
BAFTAs to Replace Gendered Acting Plaudits with 'Best Mortal Kombat Film'
June 4, 2026 at 10:10 am
The year is 2026 and Tony Blair can still f$ck off
May 29, 2026 at 8:06 am
Friday, May 29th: National Biscuit Day
May 29, 2026 at 6:21 am
Reform's Makerfield chances set to go down the drain
May 29, 2026 at 6:21 am
CEO of biggest house builder in Britain says they wouldn’t like to be a first-time buyer right now
May 29, 2026 at 6:06 am
Flies deny they have no common sense
May 28, 2026 at 12:08 pm
Reform to bring back crappy weather
May 28, 2026 at 10:36 am
