If you’ve ever been on the streets of Lagos looking for love, you know it’s more like an intense survival game with no referee. 

Lagos is a city where love and relationships come with their own set of unwritten rules. If you don’t know them, you’ll be confused, frustrated, or worse, heartbroken.

Let’s not even get started on how financial status, tribe, and location can affect your chances of finding love. So, before you dive headfirst into Lagos dating, here are the unspoken rules that nobody tells you but you absolutely need to know.

1. The ‘talking stage’ might never end

This is the phase before you can officially call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, and it can last weeks, months, or even forever, depending on the person you’re dealing with. Some people enjoy the talking stage so much that they never want to leave it. If you don’t clarify where you stand, you might wake up one day and realise you were just a ‘good morning’ and ‘how was your day?’ pen pal the whole time.

2. Traffic can ruin your love life

If you think Lagos traffic is only frustrating when going to work, think again. If your partner lives on the mainland while you live on the island, just know that seeing each other regularly is going to be a struggle. 

Some people will even end a budding romance because “he lives too far” or “I can’t date someone who stays in Ajah.” If you’re serious about a relationship, be ready to strategise around traffic, otherwise, love will suffer.

ALSO READ: Why traffic in Lagos deserves its own horror movie

3. Simps vs. alpha males

Lagos men are placed in two categories—”simps” and “alpha males.” Simps are the ones who send you good morning messages, call you ‘baby’ within the first week, and are super romantic. The self-proclaimed alpha males? They don’t text often and they don’t like ‘mushy talk.’

Lagos women, on the other hand, have their own preferences—some like their men emotionally expressive, while others think simps are ‘too available’ and prefer a guy who acts like he doesn’t care. Know which category you fall into and find your match accordingly.

4. Tribe & status can be deal breakers

This one is a bit controversial, but let’s be real: tribe, social status, and financial standing play a role in Lagos dating. Some families still have strong opinions about who their children can date based on tribe, while others are more focused on financial stability. 

In many cases, even if two people love each other, external factors like “What do your parents think?” or “Does he have money?” can determine the future of the relationship. Love is sweet, but in Lagos, reality is sweeter.

5. Social media is your relationship resume

Before you even meet in person, best believe your social media is being scrutinised. What do you post? Who do you follow? What type of comments do you leave under pictures? These are all things people use to judge your dating potential. 

If your page is filled with reckless tweets and too many thirst-trap selfies, some people might rule you out as unserious before you even say hello.

6. You can be ‘talking’ to someone who is also talking to five others

If you think exclusivity happens immediately after exchanging numbers, think again. Lagos dating culture allows for multiple ‘talking stages’ at the same time. Someone can be calling you “baby” while also sending the same energy to five other people. Until you have the talk and define the relationship, don’t assume you’re the only one in the picture.

Stay smart, be clear about what you want, and, most importantly, keep an open mind. Anything goes.

ALSO READ: What to expect when dating in Lagos