Mumbai: Ah, cricket: the gentleman's game, a harmonious symphony of sport and camaraderie. Unless, of course, it involves India and Pakistan, where even inscriptions on jerseys can create political commotion.

In the latest war of egos, the BCCI has decreed that the words "Pakistan" — the host nation of the ICC Champions Trophy 2025 — shall not grace the sacred polyester of Team India. For the uninitiated, India will play their Champions Trophy matches in Dubai, avoiding Pakistan like a proverbial pest. Yet, Pakistan is still officially the host. Traditionally, jerseys feature the host country's name, but the BCCI insists this is just a practice, not a mandatory norm.

“It’s a custom, not mandatory,” muttered a BCCI insider, flexing the board’s bureaucratic biceps. “We’re playing in Dubai, not Pakistan. Why should their name be on our jerseys?” Unsurprisingly, this sartorial snub has left the PCB in a state of frothing indignation. “Politics in cricket is not good for the game,” lamented a PCB official. “First, they refused to travel here. Now they won't even let us bask in the glory of our own name on their kits.” To be fair, the PCB has a point.

Hosting an ICC event for the first time in 30 years, they’d probably hoped for less drama and more... unity. Instead, they’ve been served a piping-hot platter of disagreements. The jersey debacle is merely the latest chapter in this saga of “anything you can do, we can do worse.” Earlier, according to yet unconfirmed reports, the BCCI refused to send Rohit Sharma to Pakistan for the opening ceremony, marking the first time a captain dodged a photo op with more agility than a yorker.

Meanwhile, the PCB is furiously knocking on the ICC’s door, hoping the governing body will intervene. But the ICC’s spine is about as sturdy as a buttered breadstick. Expect polite noises and no real action. Moolah is with the BCCI, and the ICC is just the poor cousin. For fans, this soap opera is both frustrating and hilarious. On one hand, the constant bickering tarnishes the sanctity of cricket; on the other, it’s wildly entertaining to watch two boards bicker like toddlers over whose sandcastle is better.

One can almost imagine the ICC refereeing with a resigned, “Can you both just play?” As the Champions Trophy looms, one wonders how low these squabbles can go. Will the PCB retaliate by printing “Dubai” in Comic Sans on their jerseys? Will the BCCI counter by refusing to shake hands at the toss? Or will they both agree to settle matters in a proper gentlemanly fashion — by sniping on social media, and finally, on the playground?