The Coldplay concert at DY Patil Stadium in Navi Mumbai was a night to remember for many, but for some, it turned into a mirror reflecting their insecurities and struggles. Among them was a 24-year-old woman who shared her experience on Reddit, detailing how the event triggered feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. Her story is not unusual; it highlights a broader issue where societal pressures, fear of missing out (FOMO), and the need for social recognition converge, creating the emotional strain that many people experience.

“When the Coldplay tour dates were announced, my colleague forced me to book the standee tickets since I'm not much into listening to English songs & she had no company to go along," she wrote. "I joined a job when I finished my M.Com last year at 23, which pays around ₹19,000. Being from a middle-class family, it felt quite expensive, but I just did it for the experience.”

Her decision to attend the concert, despite her disinterest in the music, reflects how FOMO influences many people to prioritise social inclusion over personal preference or financial practicality. This phenomenon has been studied extensively, with research from the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology showing that FOMO is closely tied to anxiety, as individuals often feel pressured to participate in experiences they perceive as happiness or success.

Understanding conspicuous sociality

The young woman’s experience at the concert was far from what she expected. “Went for the concert in the local & walked to the venue. Wore a black tee, pants & shoes. Given my height (5’1), I couldn’t even look ahead since it was blocked by tall people, people pushing, felt claustrophobic,” she explained.

She described observing others who seemed to represent societal ideals: “Saw beautiful women all dressed up in one-pieces, drinking cocktails/beer (it was so expensive), holding iPhones, speaking fluent English, smoking, with their guys enjoying and singing and living their best life. I felt like I’m so behind in life, lonely amidst the crowd.”

This experience emphasises the concept of conspicuous sociality—social behaviours that people engage in to display their wealth, social status, or identity. A 2023 study published in Psychological Science revealed that such environments often intensify feelings of inadequacy in individuals who perceive themselves as less successful or socially integrated.

A shared struggle

Many people, especially young adults navigating the challenges of early careers and social expectations, struggle with the intersection of FOMO, societal pressure, and the curated perfection they see on social media and around them. These pressures often lead to feelings of anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression.

According to the American Psychological Association, individuals in their 20s are particularly vulnerable to these emotions as they strive to establish their identities and gain financial independence. Social media often triggers this struggle, creating an endless cycle of comparison and inadequacy.

How to navigate these challenges

While the societal pressure to "fit in" may feel overwhelming, experts suggest several ways to address these feelings:

Acknowledge your emotions: Recognise that it’s okay to feel left out or overwhelmed. Accepting your feelings can help you process them more effectively.

Set personal boundaries: Avoid situations or commitments caused purely by FOMO. Make decisions based on personal interest and feasibility.

Practice gratitude: Studies from Harvard Medical School show that cultivating gratitude helps shift focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering contentment.

Limit social media exposure: Reducing time spent on platforms that promote curated perfection can help regulate feelings of inadequacy.

Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist if societal pressures and FOMO are affecting your mental health.

Building a new narrative

The Reddit user concluded her post with a significant thought: “I wish—I could have studied harder, my house felt belonging, had a few close friends, been financially better... walked back to Nerul station, got down at Kurla, went home and cried in the bathroom.”

Her experience resonates with many who feel trapped in a cycle of comparison and societal expectations. But it also offers an opportunity to reflect on how we define success and happiness. By prioritising authenticity over appearances and self-growth over external validation, individuals can create a more fulfilling narrative for their lives.

The Coldplay concert, while a fleeting event, serves as a reminder that even amidst a crowd, the most meaningful connection is often the one we cultivate within ourselves.