At first, I thought it was a joke. 

An X post above a picture of Sydney Sweeney, who recently went with former Anyone But You co-star Glen Powell to his sister’s wedding, read: “Starting discourse but that is not an appropriate shade of blue for a wedding.” 

The dress she was wearing in the image was a definite, albeit light, blue. This did not matter to the X poster, who said: ”‘She definitely asked the bride’, no she didn’t. And the bride wouldn’t have said no to a celebrity.” 

Even an X post which clarified that ice blue was the theme of the wedding did not quell the criticisms. 

I feel insane, almost feral. Surely a wedding cannot so rewire the human mind that I find my fellow woman unrecognisable. My unmarried self can’t be such a different species from these nuptial naggers that I feel we’re perceiving a completely different reality – right?

All of which is to say that I spoke to Jo Hayes, founder of Etiquette Expert, about whether online opinions about marriage have gone too far.

This is far from the only viral wedding debate 

Every wedding season, I see the same debates go viral: are destination weddings unfair to guests? (sometimes, but sometimes not!), should brides put expensive items on their registry? (why not, as long as they’re not forcing anyone to buy it), and how long can you expect friends to take off work for a hen do? (two days max, calm down) are regular features. 

You might have had strong opinions on any of my responses to the above, and that’s kind of the point. Maybe you had a fortnight-long hen ’do and got married on the moon. And maybe that was fine, and everyone loved it. 

Because guess what: just like the commenters upset with Sydney’s dress, I do not know you.

“As a general rule of life, I encourage people to mind their own business, and refrain from gossip, or any sort of negative chit-chat/commenting that is not edifying,” Jo agreed. 

“In person and online. Especially online, where people are often bolder than they would be saying the same things in real life.” 

So, while she disagrees with me on the dress – she reckons the hue was “slightly too close to white (at least in this picture) for my liking,” and thinks that the cleavage is “entirely wrong for a wedding guest” – Hayes only says so because she’s a pro, and I asked. 

I might not think she’s right, but as the etiquette expert says, at least her opinion was requested and is qualified. 

Let’s be real ― that’s not the case for @dresspolice34958568 on X, is it?

So, should we stop thinking about wedding etiquette altogether?

Of course not. I’m not even against a private WhatsApp rant about how hard that Cotswold destination is to get to, or how little you like the bridesmaid dresses. 

But people are different, and rules change by the wedding. As Hayes told us, “Weddings are occasions that host guests of all ages, creeds and religions.”

“As such,” she adds, “well-mannered guest dresses in a way that demonstrates respect for all other guests,” from “grandma and grandpa to conservative uncles and impressionable teenage cousins.” 

“But first and foremost, think of the bride and groom,” she continued. 

Again, Hayes really didn’t like Syndey’s dress (she called it “atrocious” for the occasion), but we’ve not seen any signs the bride’s unhappy. 

And unless we hear directly from the couple, I don’t much can be achieved by applying generalised, inexpert, online opinions from strangers to someone else’s wedding.

So, until anything new comes to light, say it with me: you look beautiful in the blue, babe, and congrats to the newlyweds!