If you have ever been dumped by a partner, you may have felt like it came out of nowhere, leaving you baffled and heartbroken as you try to piece together the days and weeks leading to the relationship ending. 

However, according to a new study from psychology professors Janina Bühler from Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz and Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern, there is actually quite a predictable decline in satisfaction in romantic relationships long before the real breaking point happens. 

Basically, it probably wasn’t ‘out of nowhere’, even if it felt that way at the time.

Relationships can start to deteriorate years before they end

 In the study, the researchers found that relationship satisfaction declines gradually over several years before hitting a critical transition stage about one to two years before the relationship.

From there on in, they found, the relationship satisfaction deteriorates quickly.

“Couples in question then move towards separation,” Bühler said in a statement.

• The “preterminal phase”: This early phase can last for several years and is marked by a slow and gradual decline in satisfaction
• The “terminal phase”: After hitting the “transition point,” satisfaction drops sharply, lasting between seven and 28 months

“Once this terminal phase is reached, the relationship is doomed to come to an end,” Bühler said. “This is apparent from the fact that only the individuals in the separation group go through this terminal phase, not the control group.”

Partners don’t tend to experience these phases at the same time

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the person that initiates the breakup often is dissatisfied much earlier, feeling the ongoing decline over a longer period. The other partner sometimes only notices the decline before the relationship ends.

“Partners pass through various phases,” Bühler explained. “They do not normally separate from one day to the next, and the way these phases impact on the two partners differs.”

Read the full study here.