Kate Hudson has been parenting for 21 years, and it’s safe to say she’s learned a lot along the way. 

The actor shares three children – Ryder, 21, Bingham, 13, and Rani, six – with three different fathers, and has previously opened up about how they’re thriving on the co-parenting front. 

“It might not look traditional from the outside, but on the inside I feel like we’re killing it. The unit that I’ve created with three children with three different fathers is a seriously strong unit, and it’s ours,” she previously told The Sunday Times.

Now, in a recent interview on Kylie Kelce’s Not Gonna Lie podcast, the 45-year-old has spoken of why it’s so crucial, as a parent, to apologise to your kids when you make a mistake. 

“The importance of being able to tell your kids that you could do better, I could’ve handled that situation better, actually models much more for them than being stubborn and saying, ‘No I can’t admit that I was wrong’,” she told Kylie.

“Sometimes in conflict, you go too far, and you need to say you’re sorry. Instead of teaching them that you doubled down. And what you find in going to your kids and saying, ‘I made a mistake’ … that connection becomes stronger.”

She said knowing when to say sorry has been “the biggest lesson” for her.

Why it’s important to own your mistakes – and apologise for them – in parenting

Look, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, sometimes we shout or say the wrong thing because we’re totally overwhelmed and they’re pushing all of the buttons. Then we feel awful because, well, we messed up.

It is situations like this when an apology can really matter. You are modelling how to act as a human being, you are modelling that we all make errors sometimes and when we do, this is the way to act.

“It’s incredibly important for a parent to apologise and admit when they are wrong,” family therapist Fiona Yassin told HuffPost UK.

She suggested that saying sorry teaches children accountability, and helps them to build emotional intelligence.

It is also a way to build trust in the parent-child relationship and to show that it’s OK to make mistakes. 

“When children see that mistakes are a normal part of learning, rather than something to fear, they become more willing to take risks, experiment and push boundaries – all important parts of growth and development,” she said.

Yassin, who is founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, added that a sincere apology from a parent “can be especially powerful” when emotions are running high.

“It helps to shift the focus from blame to understanding, and teaches them to treat others with respect,” she said.

“Ultimately, children learn from what we say and do, and role modelling how to say sorry is a powerful way to teach them the importance of repairing relationships with honesty and respect.”

How can it impact children if you don’t say sorry?

The therapist suggests that not saying sorry when it is right to do so can have “lasting effects” on the parent-child relationship – not to mention shape how the child approaches conflict in adulthood. 

“If a parent does not acknowledge their mistakes when it is right to do so, the child may feel unheard or invalidated, making it harder for them to open up emotionally,” she said.

“Over time, unresolved conflict can build up, leading to resentment and emotional distance, which can strain the parent-child relationship as the child gets older.”

What’s more, the therapist suggests that if a child does not see their parents admit fault, they may grow up “thinking that saying sorry is a sign of weakness rather than a healthy, constructive part of resolving disagreements”.

For some, this might culminate in avoiding conflict altogether, while others might become overly defensive or struggle to accept responsibility for their actions. Ultimately it could impact their own relationships as adults – personally and professionally. 

She added: “This is not about parents blaming themselves for past mistakes. It’s about adapting your approach to help your children understand that conflict is a natural part of life, and the key to resolving it lies in accountability, communication, and empathy.”