A mum has shared her outrage after discovering her husband had been microwaving her breastmilk to give to their baby – despite her asking him not to.

The frustrated parent took to Reddit’s‘Am I Overreacting?’ forum to ask if she was acting irrationally for getting upset at her husband. 

The mum said she had returned to work after three months on maternity leave and had left their baby with her other half.

“Leaving her has been incredibly emotional for me – I’ve never been away from her for more than a couple of hours, and going back to work has been stressful and tearful,” she said.

Over the past three months she said she’d built a stash of frozen breastmilk and had showed her husband how to thaw the milk in warm water so he could feed their daughter when she returned to work. “We even practiced it together,” she added.

The mum said she had warned her husband against microwaving the milk as it can create hot spots, which can burn the baby, and could also lead to nutrient loss. She said her husband agreed he wouldn’t microwave it. 

But it turns out, he either wasn’t listening or he decided to go against her advice anyway, as the mum walked in on him taking their baby’s bottle out of the microwave. 

“I asked if he’d been doing that all weekend. He said yes. I immediately started crying,” she said. 

When she pulled him up on it, the mum claimed her husband became defensive and lambasted her for her “crazy” reaction.

She claimed he justified his response by saying he only microwaved it “for a few seconds” and then mixed it to make sure there weren’t any hotspots, and cited a study that said breastmilk doesn’t lose nutrients unless overheated.

But the parent was still hurt. “I explicitly asked him not to microwave it, and he did it anyway,” she said. “His arrogance that he thinks he knows better than the CDC and literally every source is pissing me off, that he went against my wishes, disregarded my effort, and then doubled down when I was already emotionally drained.

“He doesn’t understand why I’m upset, but I feel completely disrespected and empty after that. Am I overreacting?”

Well, the internet is firmly on the mother’s side and everyone agrees she is not overreacting.

“It’s lazy, it’s inconsiderate, it’s just plain rude,” said one commenter, discussing her husband’s behaviour. 

Another added: “The fact that he literally did research just to go against what you asked him to do is so pathetic and lame.”

Should you microwave breast milk?

In short, no. The NHS advises against this as it can “cause hot spots, which can burn your baby’s mouth”.

The best way to defrost breast milk is overnight in the fridge. To use it immediately, you can put the breast milk bag in a jug of warm water, or hold it under running warm water until it’s defrosted.