There’s nothing like that feeling of finally cracking potty training with your child. Oh the freedom! But then you realise there’s another hurdle on the horizon... the very messy matter of bum-wiping. 

So, when should you be helping your child master this crucial skill? And more importantly, how?

The reality is that children won’t be ready to wipe their own bottoms until their arms are long enough – and even then, you’ll probably still need to help them work on their technique for some time.

According to potty training consultant Allison Jandu, their arms might not be long enough to reach around for proper wiping technique until they are 3.5 or 4 years old.

She added that girls “typically master wiping faster” than boys because they wipe for both wees and poos, so they have more opportunities to practise.

How to know if your child is ready to wipe themselves

If you’re not sure if your child is ready, the children’s bowel and bladder charity ERIC recommends the following test: simply ask your child if they can touch their opposite ear over the top of their head.

“A similar bend is needed to reach their bottom, so if they can do this, they should be able to wipe!” said the charity.

Ok, their arms are long enough. Now what?

Now it’s all about practising the wiping technique. 

On her website, Jandu recommended two tricks for this. First, have your little one take a bath. Spread some suds on their bottom and them let them use a flannel to wipe it away.

You could also try the same trick but with shaving foam (before bath time) and encourage them to wipe it away with loo roll. 

During this time you can teach them to wipe from front to back – important for preventing infections – and also the wipe, fold, repeat trick so they don’t waste too much toilet paper. 

The expert also suggested putting peanut butter on a plastic doll’s bottom and having them wipe it off so they can see where they should be aiming for and how many wipes is typically needed to do this. 

In a video on Instagram, Tsagana – a content creator known for her life hacks – shared how she has helped teach her child to wipe her bottom.

This includes clipping pegs on her child’s leggings at the back to encourage her to reach around and pluck them off. She then swaps the pegs for stickers. 

In another instance, she smears peanut butter across two lemons wedged into a bowl so her daughter can practice wiping away the sticky residue with tissue.

ERIC suggested you could also practice wiping with shaving foam, by spraying it on a surface in front of them and encouraging them to wipe it away in one big scoop.

Moving on to the messy part

Once they’ve practised, they can start wiping their own bottoms after a poo.

ERIC recommended asking them to place their hand over yours when you wipe them, so they get used to how it feels. For the last wipe, let your kid hold the paper and you guide their hand. 

“Progress to your child holding the paper for the last two wipes, then three – until they are holding the paper from the start,” the charity added.

Eventually you can phase out your help and just verbally guide them.

It’s important they always wipe front to back, and that they check the paper after wiping, to see if they need to wipe some more, and then throw it in the toilet (or bin, if they use wipes).

Good luck!