After a parent touted the wonders of the “robot” technique for getting her four-year-old to take a nap, I’ve been left wondering: could a sleep strategy like this actually work?

A mum shared on Reddit that her four-year-old had been “a menace” at nap time and bedtime for several weeks. She said her son would go down for a nap for his dad, or at preschool where he’d sleep for two hours, but not for her.

Desperate for a solution, the parent came across the “robot” technique which she described as showing “no emotion, no attention” towards the child and involves simply putting them back to bed each time they try to get up.

“So, today for nap time, I’m putting him to bed, and like clockwork, he begins to have a breakdown,” she recalled.

“Enter mother robot. Every time he got out of bed, I picked him up and put him back. No eye contact. No talking. No emotion when he screamed, shouted, kicked his legs in the air.”

She would simply put him back to bed and walk away.

The parent added that she probably put her child back in bed 100 times – and it lasted an hour – but eventually he caved and went to sleep.

“I didn’t have to yell, didn’t have to threaten, didn’t have to bargain. I just held firm on the boundary, and eventually, he understood I wasn’t budging,” she said.

What do experts think of the technique?

The reaction has been mixed. Emily Whalley, a holistic sleep coach at Fox and the Moon Sleep, takes issue with the emotionless expression involved in this particular example. 

She cited the results of the “still face experiment” by psychologist Dr Ed Tronick.

When a parent had a blank expression, “the children involved in this experience were confused, upset, and older children tried desperately to make their parent engage by waving objects, speaking to them and trying to grab their attention,” said Whalley. 

“What this shows us is that a child at any stage in their development needs your connection, presence and affection.”

Her issue with this technique is that it takes away “all human emotion, gives the child a negative experience with sleep and coerces them to do something just to stop the behaviour they are seeing in their parents”.

The sleep expert also suggests a four-year-old probably just doesn’t need a daytime nap anymore – “and the refusal in the nap wasn’t the child misbehaving, it was communication”.

According to the Sleep Foundation, 60% of kids still nap at four years old, with only 30% napping at age five. 

“All behaviour that comes from our child is communication. The way this child must have felt at this moment is worrying and this isn’t the way we encourage children to comply with us,” she added. 

Rosey Davidson, a sleep consultant at Just Chill Baby Sleep, agreed that withholding eye contact and emotion isn’t “necessary” and reaffirmed that it could actually increase a child’s distress rather than settle them. 

She told HuffPost UK the technique the mother refers to is essentially a variation of the ‘silent return to bed’ approach, which is used to reinforce bedtime boundaries. 

It is also very similar to the “stay in bed” technique you might recognise from Supernanny – where a parent calmly puts a child back into bed each time they get out, with minimal interaction. The aim is ultimately for children to learn to stay in their own beds throughout the night.

The technique could help prevent kids from coming into your bed throughout the night

“The idea behind it is that by removing attention – both positive (soothing, comforting) and negative (frustration, arguing) – the parent makes getting out of bed less rewarding, and the child eventually learns that their only option is to stay in bed and sleep,” Davidson explained. 

While the expert said this can be effective for some children, particularly those who thrive on clear, consistent boundaries, it “may not be right for every child”.

“Some little ones need more connection, reassurance, or a sense of control to feel safe and settled at bedtime,” she said.

“If a child is repeatedly getting out of bed or having emotional meltdowns, it can sometimes be a sign that they need additional support to wind down – whether that’s through connection time before bed, adjusting their routine, or helping them feel more secure in their sleep space.”

Daisy Ferns, sleep expert and the founder of The Parenting Experts Academy, suggested the method can help “reduce night wakings quickly”.

“I would recommend this approach in certain situations, but it’s important to consider the full picture rather than applying it as a one-size-fits-all solution,” she caveated.

For example, the sleep expert wouldn’t suggest it for a five-year-old struggling with bedtime anxiety as they may need a parent’s presence to build up their confidence.

“However, even in this scenario, parents can offer support by being present without excessive interaction or fussing,” she added.

If you want to try it for yourself, she shares the following advice:

• Consistency is crucial. Children learn through repetition, so decide on your approach and stick to it.
• Be patient. Sleep training is a learning process that takes time. It’s normal for things to get worse before they improve, but persistence is key.
• Meet your child’s emotional needs. Filling their ‘connection cup’ during the day helps strengthen the bond between parent and child and helps them to feel safe and secure.

And if you do find that your child’s nighttime wake-ups are causing your family a lot of sleepless nights – and it’s impacting daily life for you and them – it might be worth calling in a professional to get to the root of the problem.