A fed-up parent has revealed her mother-in-law never offers to pay when they go out for the day or visit restaurants – and she’s officially had enough.

Posting on Mumsnet’s ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’ forum, one disgruntled mum said she and her husband have a one-year-old so money is “tighter than it used to be”.

The parent regularly meets up with her mother-in-law and said: “She has just stayed with us this weekend. Something that I’ve noticed is that if we go out for occasional lunch or do any activities she never offers to pay her share.

“When she stayed this weekend we did a couple of things and when the bill arrived she just sat waiting for us to pay without offering her part. We also went to a museum and she again waited for us to pay, despite this being something she suggested.

“When she stays I naturally ensure [our] house has food for us to cook meals for her so I do feel we are being accommodating in that respect.”

The Mumsnet user added that the “obvious answer” is not to go anywhere with her but said “this isn’t practical with a one year old”.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] for wishing she would at least offer?” said the frustrated parent. 

Most people agreed that she isn’t being unreasonable

“You are not being unreasonable. I always pay my share when eating out with my adult children and their families and I often offer to pay the whole bill,” said one commenter.

“It’s very rude and entitled of her to just expect you to pay for her every time you go out.”

Another suggested that if they previously paid for her when money wasn’t tight, perhaps she just hasn’t “got the memo” that things have changed – in which case, it’ll need spelling out. 

User TheHistorian suggested the grandparent is “used to her children paying for her and takes it for granted”.

“It’s become customary and an entitlement in her mind. It won’t change unless you say something (or your husband does). Expect some push back from her though,” they added. 

What can she do about it?

It’s a tricky situation to be in – especially when Brits are notoriously terrible at discussing money. 

Here’s what people recommended trying in response to her post: 

• “So, in the same way she cheekily assumed you’ll pay, you need to assertively assume you’ll split. Tell the waiter, ‘We’ll split this between two cards.’”
• “You just have to say ‘we can’t afford guests this month’ and mean it.”
• “DH [dear husband] needs to tell his mum that you’re short of money these days. If MIL [mother-in-law] doesn’t offer her share, start going just to free activities and take a thermos of tea.”
• “If she suggests going out to somewhere/something that has a cost, simply say that money is tighter now and you don’t have the budget for it.”
• “Conveniently forget your card and say ‘since we have paid the last few times can you pay for this, thanks’.”

Have you been in this situation before? What did you do? Let us know!