Naming a baby is a tricky experience at the best of times: it’s deeply personal and if there are two parents in the relationship, you have to ultimately compromise on a name you like. (Easier said than done.)

As if that isn’t enough stressful enough, if you do happen to share your baby name shortlist with a select few, you then have all the background noise from those who have serious *thoughts* about what you might choose to name your future offspring. 

One parent-to-be who has had enough of his family’s opinions has asked the good people of Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole?’ thread whether he’s wrong to tell his own parents that their thoughts on his future baby’s name “don’t matter”.

User u/Sensitive_Reach8468 said his parents are “upset” because their grandchild will not be given family names or variations of names already in the family.

“That’s mostly what was always done,” he explained. “The few exceptions were to honour someone outside the family.”

But the couple now wants to step away from all that. 

“My wife and I are not doing this and I have given my wife the ability to make the choice of what to name our kids. I have my reasons and this is a gift I’m giving her because I know she’s got names she has loved for a long time and would like to use,” said the parent-to-be.

He added that they’ll be using his surname so he wants his wife to be able to choose their child’s first name. 

The Redditor admitted his parents don’t know that his wife has the final say on their child’s name, but said they have already blamed her for not continuing on with the family name tradition. 

And as you can imagine, it’s provoked some controversy.

The dad-to-be said the only reason he told them before the birth was so he would know “whether they need to be kept away when baby is born” – especially as they have a history of saying negative things about other people’s baby names.

And because of the way they’ve handled the news, the father-to-be suggested “right now they’re making it longer before they’ll meet the baby”.

“I told them that and in response they went to my wife and told her they felt their opinion should be heard more. That they were the grandparents after all. She told me what they said and I told them their opinion doesn’t matter when it comes to what we name our kids,” he wrote on the forum. 

The grandparents-to-be have since told their son it’s “wrong to deny someone their opinion”, to which he replied “they can have it but they need to keep it to themselves”.

“They said my handling of this was unhealthy and denying them their freedom of speech. It made me roll my eyes. I blocked them for a while to give us a break from it. But are they right? Is it wrong to tell them their opinions don’t matter?” he asked.

For once, the internet’s verdict was pretty much unanimous – this person is 100% “not the a**hole” and the grandparents are in the wrong. 

User Milamelted wrote: “I commend you for taking responsibility for the decision. It seems like your parents are keen to blame your wife for everything.”

Another added: “You are a star husband- this is the right way to handle it. 

“They are wrong. You are right. Tell your wife to avoid engaging when they go around the side of you. Get them under control now before there are kids witnessing the disrespect they have for you and your wife over your own family decisions.”

Plenty of commenters suggested that this is probably just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how his parents will react to his parenting decisions in the future.

“OP [original poster], you are in deep. Your parents are still treating you like a child,” said user Imaginary-Brick-2894.

“If they are this pushy about a baby name, they are going to push even harder about everything you two do that they do not agree with. Whew. I’m tired now with just their name antics. I hope you and your wife can continue to be a united front in the future.”

Here’s hoping!