In 2024, the average cost of attending a wedding in the UK hit a whopping £451, leading 19% of guests to flat-out avoid the event. 

Most of us will relate to those stats. Between travel, days-long hen and stag dos, clothes, childcare and gifts, many of us have seen our bank accounts struggle under the increasingly hefty weight of someone else’s big day. 

Of course, it’s all worth it for those we love.

But in a recent Reddit post shared to r/AITAH (am I the a**hole here), site user u/Long_Assistant8873 revealed that after offering their own back garden for an old friend’s ceremony, the couple made a pretty out-of-order request.

“AITA for not letting my friends use my backyard for their wedding because they do not want me to bring a “plus one’?,” they asked. 

The friend’s fiancée was close to the poster’s ex

The original poster (OP) explained they’d recently bought their grandparent’s home. They’d spent loads of time hanging out with their friends in the house growing up ― including with close friend and husband-to-be “Dave”. 

“The house has a sizeable amount of land, which includes a lake and a gazebo,” the poster wrote. 

OP had intended to buy the place with their then-girlfriend, who they nicknamed “Leslie” for the sake of anonymity.

But when applying for a shared mortgage, the author realised their partner was in lots of credit card debt, which she’d tried to hide over the years. They broke up because of that deception.

Their friend Dave was set to marry in the Redditor’s back garden (which they had since purchased solo). The only minor complication was that Dave was set to marry “Kim”, who is Leslie’s cousin. (And Kim had actually introduced Leslie to OP. The plot thickens.)

Since their breakup, OP started dating again, which they claimed Leslie wasn’t happy with. So, Dave and Kim asked OP to not bring a plus-one to their wedding for “Leslie’s sake”.

“I have told them that this request is ridiculous,” the post author, who upheld their pre-existing promise to let the couple wed in their gazebo after they broke up with Leslie, said. 

“This wedding is happening at my house, using my land, and I am not allowed to bring a date because of a crazy ex?”

The wedding plan has since been cancelled 

In an update to the older post, the poster said he’d since spoken to Dave about the situation.

Though the wedding is set to happen soon, he told the groom that he’s a “shitty friend” for making the demand. 

Dave then shared that he and Leslie both fully expected the former beaus to reunite, or at least “talk”, at the event. 

“If she is so unstable that I need to be coerced into a conversation with her, she is too unsafe to be a guest, in any capacity in my home,” OP told Dave.

Leslie’s presence became a dealbreaker Dave wouldn’t budge on, so the homeowner rescinded their offer. “I said, then the wedding is off. He left. That is the state of things,” they wrote.

Redditors were broadly on the poster’s side, with  commenting: “Your friends are okay with her hijacking their ceremony so she can sleep better at night? Yeah ― that would be a big ‘not happening’ from me.” 

“Dave isn’t your real friend. Sad that it took this long to find out but at least you can save the hassle of cleaning up after a wedding,”  opined.

What do you think? Let us know!

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