We’ve cared for our farm through war, pandemic and money worries. The inheritance tax row shows how little the government respects that

• Clare Wise is a farmer based in County Durham

If you are familiar with the pangs of parental guilt, then you can relate to owning a farm. Take that gut-wrenching, often irrational feeling, amplify it, and welcome to being a farmer. From the moment you’re born into a family farm, there’s a weight of expectation on you to look after it, to put it before yourself, to uphold your family’s pride. All farm kids know they don’t open presents on Christmas morning until the animals are fed, that parents miss special occasions because cows are calving, and that hopes of a foreign holiday are almost nil, at least on a livestock farm such as mine.

Owning a farm is like playing a game of pass the parcel with a valuable gift, but the one who unwraps the present is very much the loser of the bunch. From an early age, it’s drilled into you that the farm, the land and its legacy are things you carry and pass on to your children. We don’t see the farms we inhabit as truly ours: they’re generational assets that produce food for the masses. That is why farmers are putting up a huge fight against the government’s new inheritance tax changes. It’s hard not to feel as though this policy is a land grab by ministers who have no idea about how farming works.

Clare Wise is a farmer based in County Durham