After a misunderstanding over who was using the car, my wife teaches me a lesson without saying a word

The band I’m in is heading out for a spring tour from Edinburgh to Exeter, a dozen dates across four weekends. Two nights before we set off I leave a rehearsal room at 10pm, exhausted after a seven-hour practice. It occurs to me, not for the first time, that I am too old for this shit.

On the morning of the first gig, my wife and I have a row: she appears to be unaware that I am taking the car for the weekend.