As a fan of money, my son has known of the Tooth Fairy for some time, and is now discussing her rates of business – and filling in the correct paperwork

My son didn’t notice that he’d lost his first tooth, since he was eating a bowl of Cheerios at the time, and thus suffered one of the lesser-advertised drawbacks of a crunchy breakfast. It’s only minutes later that he clocks his mouth is a man down and the chomper that’s been wobbling for the past week (his bottom right central incisor, if you’re taking notes) is now on its digestive path from gut to porcelain and, thence, to the sea.

That unpleasantness aside, he is ecstatic. This is, in large part, due to one of the true wonders of human sociology. Consider that there is a subgrouping of people – children – whose teeth fall out, one by one, over several years; a process so innately distressing that it is a foundational nightmare for every human on the planet.