It’s UGH week, the time when we all notice the many terrible things that have accumulated in our homes under the darkness of winter. But don’t worry! You don’t have to do anything silly like spring clean

I rarely have any wisdom to impart, but at this time of year I find myself itching to share one of the few snippets I have gleaned in my 50 years. So here goes.

Have you found in recent days that everyone (in the northern hemisphere, anyway) seems stoked about spring – skittles and beer, carpets of crocuses, the prospect of sitting outside without having your face resurfaced by sleet – but you are not quite feeling it? Have any nascent joys of the changing seasons been crushed by a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, replaced by wondering how you got so dull and lumpy? Has your home become, seemingly overnight, a sticky nest of squalor – toothpaste dribbles on the mirror, mildewed grouting, sofa stains, dust (God, the dust)? Does nothing please you?