If your unhappiness about unsolicited comments about your body has any hope of registering, says Eleanor Gordon Smith, you have to do more than pushback here and there

How do I get my parents to stop fixating on the fact I’ve gained weight? I’m an undergraduate at one of the most competitive universities in the UK and received top grades throughout school to get in. Since going to university I’ve kept busy and achieved a lot. I am president of a student society, do pro-bono tutoring and have done multiple internships and a part-time job alongside my degree, which I am averaging a first in. I have a really strong network of friends and am in a healthy relationship with long-term partner and feel happier and more confident with myself than ever before. Since being at university I’ve gained a bit of weight, exercising less intensively with other commitments taking over, as well as just getting a little bit older and becoming a woman rather than a girl. I’m overweight on the BMI scale but not by much and I attribute at least some of that to the muscle I’ve put on from lifting weights twice a week.

My parents have always valued eating well, exercising and “looking” healthy, and have had multiple conversations with me over the summer about my weight. I shrugged it off for a while but have started pushing back a bit on it and telling them how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I fear it never quite gets through to them. Is there any way to get them to stop for good?