In her first year of university Chantelle Van Niekerk didn’t want a relationship. But then she met Rico, her intellectual and emotional equal

• Find more stories from The moment I knew series here

It was January 2003 and I was about to start my studies at the University of Johannesburg – and had officially sworn off relationships. I’d had two serious relationships in high school, both with older boys, where I felt I needed to change who I was in order to be with them. I was done trying to please others and saw university as my fresh start to be truly me.

The university had a start-of-the-year tradition – the campus residences would create and parade their floats for charity. My group was tasked with folding blommetjies vou (polystyrene-filled cellophane flowers) for our float, which was based on the Lord of the Rings movie.