The ‘blatantly fake beard’, the ‘cheap red suit’? It must be that time of year again – the season of the great fleecing

Did you take your kids to see Santa this year? If so, how much did you pay? At one grotto in Winchester, it was £18.50 per child and £6 per adult, so no wonder if people took exception to his “blatantly fake beard” and “cheap red suit” and demanded their money back. “I’ve seen better Santas rolling around town on their way to Christmas parties,” one visitor complained. For that price, you’d expect a “Ho, ho, ho!” at the very least, but those weren’t apparently forthcoming, either. (As an aside, Hampshire really isn’t doing much to bolster its festive rep this year, after one of its vicars also apparently told schoolchildren that Santa isn’t real.)

Yes, it’s that time of year again – the season of the great Christmas fleecing, felt by all of us, but especially parents. Just what, exactly, are parents in Winchester paying £6 for? To stand there for five minutes and take a photo? At least London zoo doesn’t charge the adults at its Santa’s grotto. But the price – £17.50 per child – practically requires you take out a new mortgage, and doesn’t include zoo admission; and that’s for just your basic, no-frills meet-and-greet. If you want to opt for the “Meet Santa Deluxe”, it’s “only” £22.50 more per child. You find yourself wondering what, exactly, makes him so luxurious – a cashmere beard, perhaps?

I know I probably sound Grinchy, but I hate the money-making cynicism of it, and what that says about us as a nation (you want childhood magic? Well, it’ll cost you). Most galling of all is the horrific number of children in poverty who aren’t getting enough to eat, let alone to see Santa. Would it really be so hard for one of the many decent blokes with a DBS check to put on a costume and go to meet some children for free? Is that so rabidly socialist of me?

Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett is a Guardian columnist