This three-week experiment to study the horrifying effects of the grim content that children can access 24/7 has predictable results – which are nonetheless horrifying

As a rule, jealousy is not an emotion social experiment TV tends to elicit. To gain insight into the human condition, such programmes usually involve nightmare-level punishments: volunteers agree to sleep on the street or go to prison or marry a total stranger or live like a Victorian person or be marooned on a desert island – the genre is schadenfreude central. Yet watching Swiped: The School That Banned Smartphones – which follows a group of year 8 pupils from Essex (plus hosts Matt and Emma Willis) as they surrender their phones to a lockable glass cube for three whole weeks – my response is one of pure envy. What a treat. If only a production company would be so kind as to take my phone away from me.

Swiped, says Dr Rangan Chatterjee as he guides us through the technicalities of the experiment, marks the first time a digital detox has been studied on this scale. This is probably not the coup it first seems. Science has been slow to solidify a causal relationship between smartphone usage and mental health issues, but every sentient being with social media access knows how detrimental an endlessly refreshing feed is to sleep, concentration, inner peace and general happiness. Let’s just say the final data isn’t the most earth-shattering discovery of our time: if your smartphone leaves you distracted, exhausted and anxious, chances are it’s doing the same to your child.