I finally got to live out my gangster fantasies and found I fit right in with this bunch of jabronis

I am at that stage in life where my options are narrowing when it comes to the jobs I dreamed of doing as a child. I am too old to play football for Scotland, I will not own a brewery or become an astronaut. (In retrospect, aspiring to a job that combined all three was a tad ambitious.) It’s also risky to give up any job in this economy without knowing whether the new one will work out. Luckily, thanks to video games, I can try them out before taking the plunge. And you are never too old to be a gangster, are you? Which is why I started playing Mafia: Definitive Edition.

I did play it briefly in its original incarnation, 70bn years ago. Not for long, though, because it had driving sections as unintuitive and poorly controlled as that buggy on Mars.