Each had an hour to show why they are the future – until the next Tory debacle means another contest. They barely managed that

Distressingly, the GB News stream I watched the Conservative leadership hustings on kept glitching out, meaning every time I went back in I had to watch the exact same ads for a blood pressure monitor and some body horror thing about draining ankle fluid. You hear a lot about “no-go zones” on GB News – on this evidence the channel is a no-go zone for advertisers seeking to reach the coveted 18-34 demographic. But look, let’s open the door to our walk-in bath and let the waters of the contest rise around us.

And you have to say that this week the race to be the person regicided by the Tory party in two years’ time has certainly warmed up. It is now almost tepid. The choice is between Kemi “I’m an engineer” Badenoch and Ozempic survivor Robert Jenrick, a would-be populist who on Wednesday had to be told live on air – the day after it happened – who the new England football manager was. Sort your life out, Jenrick.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist