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Considering how long it took them to finally get their hands on some domestic silverware after a 70-year pause, in the end it was remarkably easy for Newcastle United. While the supercilious slogan “this means more” is more readily associated with Liverpool Football Club, prevailing in Fizzy Cup on Sunday clearly meant an awful lot more to Eddie Howe, his players and the travelling Toon Army. Yes, they finally rid their club of the giant baboon on its back on an afternoon when the ever present and significantly larger and autocratic elephant in the room went largely unaddressed.

People have always doubted me. My mental strength is something that I’ve always believed in. This is just another setback and it is not going to stop me” – West Ham striker Michail Antonio is staying positive after the horrendous car crash that left him with a shattered femur and says he is “100%” sure he will play again.

Thomas Tuchel reminds Colin Reed (letters 14.3) of Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’. Certainly, this doppelgänger effect will be stronger the longer he is in the job. Tuchel’s artistry indeed knows no bounds - he also bears an uncanny resemblance to Alberto Giacometti’s ‘walking man’” – Jim Arrowsmith.

So Uefa is to ask Ifab and Fifa for a review of the double-touch rule on penalty kicks. Do these people have no compassion? Don’t they know that Ifab spends its time not reviewing absurd offside calls, introducing meaningless changes to the kick-off, and not introducing sin bins and independent timekeepers? How are they supposed to review this problem if they can’t even decide whether it’s better not to enforce a six-second rule or not to enforce an eight-second rule for goalkeepers? I have a personal interest in this: as a 10-year-old I was penalised for an accidental double-touch when taking a corner. It had a devastating effect on my subsequent career” – James Wilkinson.

Given that Thomas Tuchel has been ‘missing the smell of the grass’, can I suggest that he rides a bike around South London in between international breaks. He’ll soon be in the thick of it” – Andrew Parker.

Does the return of Jordan Henderson to the England squad also signal a possible return for the much-missed stalwart Morris Dancing Fiver?” – David Maddock (and no others).