The Sky Sports pundit deserves an award for his accurate assessment of India’s Champions Trophy gerrymandering

I believe the robots are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside – let the robots’ laughter remind us how we used to be. The Onion, there, prescient as ever, 25 years on.

May I also say at this point that in a time of industrial-scale sporting bullshit telling the truth is, more than ever, a revolutionary act, all the more so when it involves standing in front of a camera in a rumpled ice-blue blazer, eyes blazing with righteous carved wooden woodpecker fury.