Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!

From being courted by the European champions to suffering the ignominy of rejection by the team placed 20th in League Two, it’s certainly been an up-and-down few days for Trent Alexander-Arnold. The subject of a cheeky £20m bid from Real Madrid last week, the Liverpool full-back did not enjoy one of his more auspicious afternoons in a Liverpool shirt at Anfield on Sunday, putting in a first-half shift that was so dismal it left the Sky Sports pundit Roy Keane incredulous. “We’re talking about him going to Real Madrid but he’ll be going to Tranmere Rovers after this performance,” quipped the Irishman, whose zinger has since been so widely reported he might be tempted to take it on a tour of regional arts centres in a one-man stand-up show, only for Tranmere to outwit him by posting a photo of their right-back Cameron Norman on their socials alongside the caption: “Trent to Tranmere? Nah, we’re alright thanks.”

It’s not a bad run on paper if you had wins in it” – our friend and yours, Sean Dyche, perhaps hoping that Everton’s new owners can use their imagination and see a few more Ws in this run of results: DDDLL.

Following four consecutive defeats, Manchester United’s elation at avoiding a thrashing and managing a whole point in their game yesterday perfectly illustrates that the Professor of Psychology, Barry Schwartz, was right in his seminal book ‘The Paradox of Choice’ and that the secret to happiness really is low expectations” – Noble Francis.