Today’s rumours look to have been doing them for years

Off we go, to another round of speculating how much a human being is worth based on their ability to kick a ball from Point A to B, to assigning which country someone should move to for the betterment of their career, despite our lack of knowledge regarding their personal circumstances and frame of mind. Yes, the cheeriness of the new year has washed off for the Rumour Mill rather quickly.

Speaking of woe, what are Manchester United up to? Viktor Gyökeres remains an obvious target to pursue, owing to his history with Ruben Amorim. According to the Daily Star, Amorim “cannot wait until the summer” for the Sporting striker, the manager made to sound like a child pleading for Christmas presents in June.