Corner choreography is the current big thing, next it’s time to focus on the overall mood – and I’m up for the Spurs gig

It’s 25 October 2012. Those of you who follow the Austrian regional leagues won’t need reminding. SC Weiz versus Fürstenfeld in the Landesliga Steiermark. I won’t insult anyone by explaining which tier of Austrian football we are talking about.

Weiz have a free-kick 25 yards from goal. Kevin Steiner stands over the ball. There are six players in the defensive wall. There’s no draught excluder; this is 2012 – there were no draughts that required excluding.