The night before this series opener saw a reunion for the New Zealand side that first beat England back in 1978, with David Gower, though not in that touring team, providing an English voice on the panel. When Geoffrey Boycott’s seven-hour 70 came up, Gower joked that it was “seriously fucking rapid” by his old mucker’s standards – before apologising for his use of the word rapid.

What followed from England on the opening day at Hagley Oval was not exactly breakneck either; Ben Stokes winning the toss, electing to bowl, and his side labouring through just 83 overs. And yet the cricket was still hugely engrossing for the 8,000 or so lucky souls who lined the grass banks of this gorgeous boutique venue. By stumps, with Kane Williamson top scoring on 93 and showing those hands are no less Oil-of-Olay-soft for missing the 3-0 series win in India, the hosts finished with 319 for eight and honours felt even.

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