England want their best fast bowler primed for Australia but the IPL’s financial power might hurt those preparations

Jofra Archer has sensationally re-entered the Mega Auction and people on the internet are annoyed. You’ve got to hand it to the Indian Premier League. It is relentlessly inventive in its language, even if the direction of travel is always towards exhaustion by superlatives. So a six becomes a HyperWang Mobile Attack Maximum, a good catch the Standard Cement Super Happy Sex-grab Of the Day. By the same process, what could possibly be better than an auction? A big auction? A very big auction? No. Only a Mega Auction will do.

To be fair this really is a Mega Auction. Scheduled to take place from Sunday into Monday, the IPLMA will see 1,054 players whittled down to just over 100 available slots, offered up on this occasion in disruptive, schedule-defining three-year contracts. For the players at the centre this is basically your life, your pension, your future. Kneel before Zod, muscular Kiwi impact all-rounder. We own you now.