2 min: Inter so close to taking the lead! A cross looped in by Martinez from the left. Dumfries takes it down, just inside the box on the right. He digs out a spectacular rising shot that rattles off the underside of the bar, Raya beaten all ends up. Arsenal clear their lines.

1 min: “All right, great – a game of football,” begins Charles Antaki, high on copium. “That’ll do fine; like many, I’m looking forward to a bit of distraction. Please let it be engaging enough to take one’s mind off recent geopolitical news – hopefully a thrilling, entertaining game, but if it’s a nasty anger-filled slugfest in the pouring rain with two red cards and a pitch invasion, that’ll do just as well. Something, anything.”

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