Dividing household tasks fairly and upending some gender norms along the way is good for everyone

Many moons ago, when I was much less cynical than I am now, I wrote a story for a newspaper about a marriage in which the man stayed home to look after the kids and household while the woman stayed in her higher-paying job.

It was a financial decision that made obvious sense for this couple - they’d both had good jobs but had together decided her career was the more promising in the long term, so he stepped back because they wanted an at-home parent while the kids were little, and because they could afford it. It was deemed “newsworthy” in a soft kind of way, because in the 1990s it went well against the norm – it was a good illustration of what was possible when you start with a negligible gender pay gap, mutual disrespect for gender norms, and ego-free assessment of which career is best going to provide for the family unit.