I left Berlin for a flat overlooking the Bosphorus – and after a decade with a partner, found even Christmas could be joyful

Recently I found this note in my 2021 diary: “Moved into this apartment five days ago, waiting for loneliness to catch up, but it hasn’t come.” I had written it in September of that year. I had just moved from Berlin to Istanbul, alone. It was meant to be a three-month stay – the plan was to return to Berlin by Christmas. But I didn’t return. It has now been more than three years and I’ve never felt more alive.

Before the move abroad, I’d lived with my partner for more than a decade. I was well acquainted with sharing life and space. Being truly alone within four walls was as new to me as my neighbourhood on the Bosphorus.

Toast with marmalade

Boiled egg

Fennel salad with walnuts

Carolin Würfel is a writer, screenwriter and journalist. She is the author of Three Women Dreamed of Socialism