At some point, you may have asked yourself or those around you: why the fuss over having kids?
You may decide to probe even further asking: Kids or no kids, shouldn't the primary goal of a marriage be companionship?
The answer to this question depends on whom you are asking.
If you asked the authors of a 2012 study on children increasing marital satisfaction for Igbo couples, they would tell you that the number of children was the strongest predictor of marital satisfaction even when compared to other variables like wealth and education.
But to another, marriage can be wholesome without the pressure of having kids to fulfill societal expectations.
When you marry your very own, your life will experience peace naturally. Imagine being childless for seven 7 years, and the husband didn't flinch. He didn't start fighting her, didn't pressure her. He can't even remember. This is the wholesomeness of marriage. https://t.co/fJ7yvd42bO
— OLUWAKEMI❣️ (@jokemeasy1) March 2, 2025
And to yet another, a childless marriage is tough, encompassing a void that can't be filled even with pets.
The kind of love you'll need to go through a childless marriage is different from the one before marriage oo, it isn't a void cats and dogs can fill even with the "one". It's a cycle that'll require divine assistance beyond just love you both share.
— Viktor (@slyguyface) March 2, 2025
Different strokes for different folks.
I see childfree by choice married couples that live with such ease and absolute adoration for one another. I'm yet to meet a childfree couple that hate each other but I know many with kids who can't stand their own spouse. I'm not saying all are so but a huge majority it's true.
— ilizbethnoble (@ilizbethnoble) December 4, 2022
ALSO READ: Why most married couples are unhappy with their marriages after childbirth
While children are necessary for the continuation of the human race, some couples can find it challenging to enjoy each other as they simultaneously care for the kids.
Here are some helpful tips to navigate stressful parenting as a couple:
Couples who spend more time together report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship.
A few hours dedicated to spending quality time together away from the kids should be non-negotiable.
If not every single day, schedule at least a weekly hangout for each other. It could be at a fancy place you both love or a cozy mini-bar just across the street.
The point is: you get to spend time with each other alone with no kids and no interfering relatives.
ALSO READ: 5 Cities where people have more dogs than children
Think of it as a "me time" but for the both of you instead of just one person.
If everything gets swept under the carpet, nothing will change. Things will remain as they are.
Address your stressors and challenges in a healthy, mature way that allows the both of you to share how you truly feel.
You were a couple first before becoming parents.
Take active steps to connect more intimately by sharing favourite music playlists, cooking together, watching a movie together or even just sleeping next to each other in bed.
These small but impactful gestures go a long way in drawing the both of you closer to each other.
The romance, the spark—they should never end.