In Nigeria, marriage is becoming more than just love; it’s now about financial security, and survival.
While many women dream of a fairy-tale romance, the reality is that marriage comes with practical considerations. A stable man with a good job, a house, and future plans, is more attractive than a man who is purely romantic but broke.
But does this mean Nigerian women don’t marry for love?
Some argue that Nigerian women choose partners based on financial stability rather than deep emotional connection. Others believe that love and stability can exist together, and a woman simply wants to feel secure in her relationship.
But if love is truly the main reason, why do we hear stories of women choosing wealth over passion? Do Nigerian women prioritise stability over love, or is it possible to have both?
The traditional expectations of marriage in Nigeria
In Nigerian culture, marriage is more than just two people in love, it’s a family and societal expectation. A woman is raised with the mindset that she must “marry well.” This doesn’t just mean finding a loving man; it means finding a responsible provider.
From a young age, many Nigerian women are told that a man’s financial standing is just as important as his character. Parents, aunties, and even friends remind them: “Love won’t feed you,” “Marry a man who can take care of you,” “A man’s potential is good, but can he provide today?”
This cultural pressure makes many women prioritise stability when choosing a husband. Love is important, but stability is non-negotiable.
Love vs. financial security, which comes first?
The idea of marrying purely for love sounds romantic, but in Nigeria, economic realities can’t be ignored. Life is expensive; rent, food, children’s school fees, and daily living costs add up. A woman who chooses a man who can’t provide might end up struggling, no matter how much love exists.
However, does this mean women don’t value love? Not necessarily. Most Nigerian women want both love and stability, but if they have to choose, many will pick stability over romance. They believe love can grow, but financial struggles can break even the strongest love.
On the flip side, some argue that marrying for stability alone leads to unhappy marriages. A woman might be financially secure but emotionally unfulfilled. This is why we see stories of wealthy couples divorcing despite having everything money can buy.
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The rise of independent women
Nigerian women today are more educated, career-driven, and financially independent than ever before. Many women no longer rely on men to provide for them completely. So, does this change the conversation?
Yes and no. Even independent women still desire stability, but now, stability isn’t just about money. It’s about emotional support, shared values, and long-term security. A man who is hardworking, emotionally mature, and financially responsible is more attractive than just a rich man.
Some women also say they would rather struggle with a man they love than be in a passionless marriage with a rich man. But if we’re being honest, very few people actually choose struggle when they have better options.
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Can love and stability coexist?
Absolutely! Many Nigerian women want both love and financial security, and there are many marriages where both exist. A man doesn’t have to be a millionaire, but he should have a vision, ambition, and the ability to provide for a future family.
Women also play a role in shaping these expectations. Instead of focusing solely on financial security, they can prioritise compatibility, shared dreams, and emotional stability. Likewise, men should understand that women seeking security aren’t necessarily “gold diggers,” they just want a good life for themselves and their children.
So, what really matters in the end?
Do Nigerian women marry for love or stability? The truth is, most want both. Love alone doesn’t pay the bills.