Is your date opening up about their childhood traumas within the first ten minutes? Are they unloading years of heartbreak before the appetizer even arrives? If so, you might be experiencing 'floodlighting'—a new dating trend that turns first dates into emotional therapy sessions.

What is Floodlighting?

The dating world is always evolving, introducing new trends that redefine how people connect. 'Floodlighting' is the latest phenomenon, and it’s raising red flags. This trend involves an individual overwhelming their date with a flood of personal stories, traumas, and past relationship baggage—often before a real connection. While some may see it as an attempt at deep emotional bonding, others recognise it as a subtle form of manipulation.

It is just the latest in a series of sneaky dating tactics—joining trends like 'hoodfishing' (faking your hometown for credibility) and 'throning' (dating someone purely for social status).

Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Synced, explained to Glamour, "It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once, to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can 'handle' these parts of you."

Floodlighting red flags to look out for

Floodlighting can be tricky to navigate. Some people overshare because they genuinely seek connection, while others use it as a manipulative tool to fast-track emotional intimacy. This technique can create a false sense of closeness, attracting the other person into an instant emotional bond without the necessary foundation of trust.

One of the biggest red flags of floodlighting is the one-sided nature of the conversation. If your date is revealing intimate details without giving you the space to share or breathe, they may be testing how much you’re willing to take on. Another warning sign? They may be closely observing your reactions, measuring whether you're becoming emotionally invested too quickly.

Jessica Alderson warned, "Vulnerability is key to a strong relationship, but timing matters. Oversharing too soon can leave you open to exploitation by someone who doesn't truly have your best interests at heart."

The emotional manipulation

Floodlighting may seem like harmless oversharing, but it can create an unhealthy imbalance in relationships. By showing themselves as the 'fragile one,' floodlighters often push their easy date into the role of an emotional caretaker—whether they signed up for it or not.

"If someone is floodlighting, it can make the person on the receiving end feel suffocated,” Alderson stated. "Handling such intense disclosures and emotions in a short period can be incredibly taxing." What starts as an intense emotional connection can quickly twist into exhaustion and burnout, making it difficult to establish a healthy and balanced relationship.

How to avoid falling into a Floodlighting trap

While vulnerability is an essential part of any meaningful relationship, it should come naturally over time. If you find yourself on a date with a floodlighter, set boundaries early. It’s okay to steer the conversation in a lighter direction or express that certain discussions may be better suited for a later stage in the relationship.