I reckon I think about a now-deleted X post which read something like, “If anyone knows the future, please DM me,” about once a week. 

It gets right to the core of being human, and especially of being someone in a relationship, doesn’t it?

After all, we have no idea what the person we’re devoting our time, love, and attention to will do in the coming years, or even what they’re thinking and feeling now. 

For some, the answer to that agonising anxiety is the “relationship test,” or laying “traps” that supposedly gauge how your partner feels about you. 

That’s what happened to Redditor u/GrowingGames45, who is considering leaving their girlfriend after a catfishing “prank” designed to test his loyalty.

So, we spoke to a consultant psychiatrist at Eulas Clinics Dr Pamela Walters about whether “relationship tests” are ever a good idea.

The original poster (OP) got catfished by their own girlfriend

The woman, who his historically “jealous” girlfriend met at a work event, sent him an Instagram follow request weeks after the work ’do – or so it seemed. 

The account started sending him “flirty” messages, OP revealed, which he shut down quickly. 

His girlfriend “seemed extra affectionate the days after that,” but he didn’t put the pieces together until he got an Instagram request from his actual coworker’s account days later. 

“Before confronting my girlfriend, I talked to that co-worker at work, and asked for her IG account – and she gave me her normal one, which I followed, and indeed she gave no indication that we ever interacted on IG before,” he said.

“So it became clear I WAS being catfished.” 

Calling the move “unfair and manipulative,” the Redditor says he’s tempted to leave his girlfriend over the test. 

“Good, healthy relationships are built on trust and open communication and respect” 

Dr Walters told us “It’s very very rarely ever advisable” to “test” your relationship in this way. 

“Tests like this scenario mentioned tend to undermine that trust because they introduce deceit into the mix,” she said.

“Even if the intention is to see how your partner reacts it’s based on a sense of insecurity or doubt. And that’s not something that tends to bring clarity, it usually actually creates more confusion and potentially hurt feelings.” 

The person who’s the subject of the “test” may also feel “betrayed” as they realise their partner sees them as untrustworthy, the psychiatrist continued. 

“If you are feeling tempted to test your partner, I would suggest taking a step back and asking yourself why. Instead of testing, communicate and talk it out,” she advised. 

“It’s much more productive to have a conversation and voice your concerns directly than to play a game if this is a relationship that you can see being long-term for you.”