Most of us are not our complete selves at work, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But it’s up to you where you want to draw the line

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I am a woman in my mid-40s. For the best part of a decade I’ve had very short hair. It’s convenient, easy to maintain and I genuinely like a slightly androgynous look – always have done. In the past year I’ve dyed it a variety of colours (purple, red and orange) as it grows out quickly. My short hair also reveals another aspect about me: I wear hearing aids. I don’t care about strangers knowing about my deafness. If folks can easily see my hearing aids, it means I don’t have to “out” myself to every new person I meet.

It only concerns me at the moment as I would like to consider applying for a new job. Appearing “other” and deaf are not necessarily assets to have when entering this market. When I was previously job hunting I had longer hair and better hearing. The field I work in currently is quite conservative and male-dominated. Should I modify my appearance to fit in and be conventional, or will being true to myself work to my advantage in the long run?

Eleanor says: Two things we know: appearances shouldn’t matter; your hair cut or colour is not an indication of talent and it’s downright illegal to treat your hearing aid as one. But appearances often do matter. Every aesthetic choice tells people how to read us, even the choice to avoid aesthetic choices.