From bottled beverages that taste like ‘liquefied Fantales’ to others that are ‘the bubblegum vape of the coffee world’, Nicholas Jordan and friends imbibe a heroic amount of caffeine to give you their verdict

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There are plenty of things I’m snobby about but coffee isn’t one of them. While I admit I spend every Tuesday at a cafe that charges up to $30 for a coffee, I also have a cupboard full of instant and a long history of making low-quality home-brew iced coffees with anything from ginger beer to cream and sugar.

Coffee’s main purpose isn’t being delicious – that’s a secondary concern. Its job is getting us high, so I will take it any way it comes (though during summer I never want a hot milky drink and I’m confused why anyone does). So the idea of adding a few supermarket-stocked bottled drinks to my caffeine repertoire was very appealing to me, even if I had to ingest a dangerous amount of caffeine to make it happen.