It’s important that he knows how his actions and words are affecting you

The question My partner and I, both in our early 40s, have been together for 15 months, though this is our second time dating. We briefly dated four years ago, but he ended things via text, which has left me feeling anxious about the possibility of him leaving again. This relationship is important to us and we’ve moved in together while trying to start a family. However, since moving in, I’ve noticed changes in him. He sometimes seems distant and our sex life has diminished. He has struggled with maintaining an erection and attributed it to a “lack of attraction”, which was difficult for me to hear.

Given the stress of fertility treatments, I suspect his issues may be emotional or physical, yet he focuses on attraction. He has suggested we reconnect through non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, which I’m willing to try. I also proposed couples therapy, which he’s hesitant about. I feel uneasy, especially when I see him looking at women online. I worry the fertility struggles are causing tension, and I fear he might leave if we can’t conceive. Although I want to work on this, part of me feels like running away. I’d appreciate any insights or advice on how to navigate these feelings and strengthen our relationship.