It’s fair to say that, after 25 years of writing reviews, I have eaten in a lot of restaurants. But I’ve always thought it ludicrous to pick a favourite

Who is the best member of your family? Not your favourite relative, which may be an easy question to answer. No, the best – the person who in every measure wins out over all the others. It’s a stupid question, isn’t it; one you literally cannot answer. Let’s try something seemingly easier: what’s the best restaurant you’ve ever visited? After 25 years of restaurant reviewing, I am asked this question often. After all, I’ve eaten out a lot. I have acquired a significant number of data points. I should therefore be qualified to come up with a helpful, definitive answer.

Except, the deeper into this job I get, the more exasperating I find it. Which is why for years I declined every approach by the team behind a ludicrously successful social media outfit called TopJaw, which has nearly 700,000 followers on Instagram. TopJaw is the work of two extremely amiable, puppyish chaps called Jesse Burgess and Will Warr. Their main schtick: asking celebs and food people to produce quickfire answers to questions about the best of everything, including the best restaurant in London. Their reels get millions of views, which in turn brings commercial opportunities. There’s money to be made from definitive answers.