Establishing a family and feeling anchored are natural desires, but pinning hopes on a mythical happily-ever-after future will not guarantee self-fulfilment

• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader

I’m 30, and have had two abortions in the past three years with two long-term partners, due to not being in a secure financial situation. I feel good about this decision. Even though I’m now with a wonderful man, we haven’t been together very long and haven’t been financially ready.

I’ve spent the past five years building up my business from home, and my boyfriend works and we earn good money, and we should be in a position to buy a small property together early next year. If we can, I would like to start trying to get pregnant.

Every week, Annalisa Barbieri addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa, please send your problem to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

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