PlayStation 5, PC; Bloober Team/Konami
This remake of the 2001 hit is frustratingly slow, long and filled with one-dimensional characters

Having missed out on 2001’s original game, I pulled up to the foggy outskirts of the town of Silent Hill practically pipping my car horn with glee. Here, finally, was my chance to experience a lauded horror classic I was too young for at the time. As protagonist James Sunderland, I was all ready to search this spooky 90s American Anywheresville of a town for signs of my presumed-dead wife. James has received a letter, you see, from said presumed-dead wife, telling him to meet her in Silent Hill – and hope springs eternal.

Before even reaching the town, James comes across a woman in a graveyard. Success! Wife achieved! But alas, no: this is Angela, also called to Silent Hill to look for a missing person or some form of closure, and to needlessly slam doors in our protagonist’s face to extend the game’s duration.