The disastrous sewage dump continues, leading residents to protest by dressing up as giant bog rolls … and staging a 10-hour campanological marathon. Only in Borsetshire

A miasma hangs over Ambridge; an enchantment of sorts. Its inhabitants seem bizarrely foggy about events in the outside world. For example, the word Palestine cannot be spoken in the village. The Malik family have been saying a few prayers during iftar, among which “Let it stop soon,” is the nearest anyone has come to mentioning The Situation. They have now moved back to their house on the recently sewage-engulfed Beechwood estate – departing their temporary accommodation at the Ambridge Hall B&B perhaps just before the well-meaning joining-in-with-Ramadan by Lynda Snell (MBE) got oppressive. The Snells, on the other hand, are missing the Maliks so much that Constanza upped and died (she’s a llama).

Ah, the sewage. Aside from its olfactory effects, the longer-term consequences continue. No one wants to eat cheese or yoghurt artisanally produced amid human excrement, remarkably, so Helen Archer’s organic dairy business is in trouble. The plan is to make one of Clarrie Grundy or Susan Carter redundant, a typically humane move from the Bridge Farm Archers. The threatened job loss has only strengthened Emma Grundy’s resolve to campaign against the evils of Borchester Water. She and Pat Archer turned up at a demo dressed as giant bog rolls, and soon, a plan for a bellringing protest at St Stephen’s church was hatched. Alan Franks, at his trendy vicar best, loved the idea, and a 10-hour campanological marathon, plus an outburst of citizen handbell ringing, was devised. Not everyone was delighted. Martyn Gibson, twirling his moustache and swirling his evil capitalist’s cloak, swept into the church on the verge of an apoplexy. The bells rang out, nonetheless.