As Spain dissects Jude Bellingham’s red card for swearing, the Champions League playoff has taken a back seat

Carlo Ancelotti had said that before Real Madrid face Manchester City on Wednesday night, he would approach Pep Guardiola and ask him if he really thought his team had only a 1% chance of going through. Most people would rather he went up to his opposite number and said eff off instead. Better still, try that with the thousands of City supporters landing in Spain hoping for a comeback of their own this time, see how they react: a smile, an embrace, or a punch in the face? At least that way they might get an answer to the question occupying them more than any other the last three days, expletives eclipsing everything.

Even, it has felt, this European tie, conspiracy winning out over what Ancelotti said had become a clásico. These are strange times, strange and very silly times. At moments they have felt like slightly sinister ones too, and definitely depressing. Apologies for the language that follows, and for the amplification, but you should try being here. Laugh? You’ll cry.