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The turnout for Lee Carsley’s leaving drinks isn’t looking all that great. With a viral case of knack spreading through the England squad, eight players have shown this season’s third international break the door marked Do One. It’s allowed the departing interim manager to dish out some resignation honours, with Aston Villa’s Morgan Rogers among a handful of uncapped players plucked out of the under-21s and told by HR, repeatedly, to chuck in a tenner for Carsley’s farewell gift. Don’t forget to sign the card.

I will enjoy it. It’s going to be in my club with so many people, good weather. Having the opportunity to be, I don’t know if I’m the first, a professional football player and professional tennis player, just for one game, it’s a privilege” – Diego Forlán is not the first to change his boots for a professional tennis racket, but his appearance this week at the Uruguay Open, an ATP Challenger tournament, will still be notable. The former Manchester United striker chats to our tennis correspondent, Tumaini Carayol.

Hang on! Re Martin Ødegaard saying he’s ‘listened to my body’ like a 90s pop sensation? No idea what you may be on about regarding the 90s, but isn’t that reference more appropriate for the Prince Classic 1999? Or did you just get slightly confused by the song title? That’s not like you … oh wait” – Lochlan MacDonald.

Sport in [the USA USA USA], isolationist as it is (World Series, really?), does deliver one huge advantage over the increasingly persecuted fans of European and British football. No international breaks” – Lindsay Williams.

I have the perfect solution for three soon-to-be-vacant jobs: send David Coote to the Match of the Day sofa/chair. Send Gary Lineker to Fenerbahce. Appoint José Mourinho as a referee to replace Coote” – Krishna Moorthy.

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