Poor old Manchester United can’t do right for doing wrong. They’re handed a three-goal lesson at home by Tottenham Hotspur; United are in crisis and Erik ten Hag has only a couple of games to save his job. They secure staunch draws away at Porto and Aston Villa then follow it with an impressive if dry-blood-caked turnabout victory over Brentford; United are in crisis and Erik ten Hag has only a couple of games to save his job. It doesn’t seem to make much difference, which can’t be very fair, and what’s worse it’s beginning to get old. So shall we park all that for the next couple of hours? Yes, let’s. This MBM is officially a Crisis-Club Free Zone™, with kick-off at 8pm BST (though should United ship five in the first half we reserve the right to perform an ear-splitting screeching handbrake turn). It’s on!

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