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“Finland’s Topi Keskinen has several tattoos, including one of Wayne Rooney,” begins Anna Mayors. “Are any other footballers inked with other players?”

The young Finnish winger Topi Keskinen, who joined Aberdeen in August, has some artwork of Wayne Rooney casting a fishing rod on his arm. Hold the hifalutin analysis, don’t stroke that chin: there’s a simple explanation. “I’ve been a Wayne Rooney fan since I was a little kid and I love fishing also,” he said. “If I get tattoos I want them to mean something!”